Daryl wrote --

I've read were old comics often had jokes on index cards on all sorts of topics. One, forget off hand who, had a million of them. (I want to say Milton Berle but not sure).

I thought Jimmy Durante said "I've got a million of 'em".

Berle stole that line from Durante. :)
Berle, who was kidded about stealing other peoples jokes. He was
sometimes called "The Thief of Bad Gags".
But I think it was Berle who had a vast library of jokes, all in topical
and alphabetical order on index cards. Of course must comedians, or their writers, had those.
Fred Allen said that Jack Benny was unable to ad lib a belch. One time appearing on Fred's show Fred was giving him a rough time and Jack replied
"You wouldn't say that to me if by writers were around". :)
I loved their "feud". In real life they were good friends.
I've been listening to their programs back to back each week and the
jokes were funnier when Benny was on Sunday and Allen on Wednesday to hear what they would say about the other each week.
When Allen was moved to Sunday following Benny's show Fred could get in a crack but it would be a week before Jack could reply.
Almost all of Jack's radio programs were saved (he started having his
show transcribed, at his expense, early in his radio career).
Allen's shows are often hit and miss. Many recordings were made, but
many also lost over the years.
Joe
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Joe,

I thought Jimmy Durante said "I've got a million of 'em".

Berle stole that line from Durante. :)

[Paul Harvey voice] "And now, you know...the rest of the story". <G>

Berle, who was kidded about stealing other peoples jokes. He was sometimes called "The Thief of Bad Gags".

I guess he was like Jack Benny, and was too cheap to pay his writers. <G>

But I think it was Berle who had a vast library of jokes, all in
topical and alphabetical order on index cards. Of course most
comedians, or their writers, had those.

It's hard to remember them all.

Fred Allen said that Jack Benny was unable to ad lib a belch. One
time appearing on Fred's show Fred was giving him a rough time and Jack replied "You wouldn't say that to me if by writers were around". :)

That's pretty bad. But, Jack is still 39. <G>

I loved their "feud". In real life they were good friends.

It sounded that way between Edgar Bergen, Charlie McCarthy, and W.C.
Fields.

I've been listening to their programs back to back each week and the jokes were funnier when Benny was on Sunday and Allen on Wednesday to
hear what they would say about the other each week.

Did they ever appear on stage together??

When Allen was moved to Sunday following Benny's show Fred could get
in a crack but it would be a week before Jack could reply.

I think back then, most of the shows were done "live". Now, all of them (except the newscasts) are pre-recorded...although the stories in the
newscasts are pre-recorded.

Almost all of Jack's radio programs were saved (he started having his show transcribed, at his expense, early in his radio career).
Allen's shows are often hit and miss. Many recordings were made, but many also lost over the years.

Interesting.

I was trying to think who had the cluttered closet, but I want to say it
was Fibber McGee. When the door opened, there was this huge cacophony of
sounds of things collapsing, falling out, etc. -- with a foghorn at the end. Then, when he made a comment, it was "Not funny, McGee". <G>

Daryl

... Elusikey: The key that is invariably lost in the bottom of a purse.
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Daryl wrote --

I guess he was like Jack Benny, and was too cheap to pay his writers. <G>

I was watching a comedy clip of a show from around 1960. The owner of a company was being interviewed and one of the questions was the
qualifications one needed to work for them.
He replied "not knowing what the minimal wage law is".
I thought of my company immediately. :)

I loved their "feud". In real life they were good friends.

It sounded that way between Edgar Bergen, Charlie McCarthy, and W.C. Fields.

Theirs was great as well, as they sparred almost every week.
Funny thing about Bergen.
He would occasionally misspeak as himself, but never as Charlie or
Mortimer. And Charlie was always quick to point out Bergen's mistake.

jokes were funnier when Benny was on Sunday and Allen on Wednesday to hear what they would say about the other each week.

Did they ever appear on stage together??

Oh many times.
They each went back to vaudeville, where they met. Never did anything on stage together that I know of.
Each went on national radio in 1932.
In 1936 they were both well known to the audience.
Fred had a 10 year-old violin player on his semi-variety show and made a crack that a certain violinist on another show should hang his head in shame for calling himself a musician.
That started it and the next Sunday Jack replied, then Fred replied to
Jack's response, and the rest is history.
Its been said theirs was the longest running feud on radio, 20 years,
before Fred died in 1956.
In real life they were very good friends and appeared on each others
shows about once a year, usually when Jack was in NYC where Fred lived.

When Allen was moved to Sunday following Benny's show Fred could get in a crack but it would be a week before Jack could reply.

I think back then, most of the shows were done "live".

All network shows were live, often done twice. First for the east coast
and three hours later for the west coast. If a show was from LA it was
often done only once. So Jack's 7 p.m. show was heard live at 4 p.m. when it was 7 in the eastern time zone.
NBC had a rule no transcribed (recording) programming was allowed,
unless for some special event. They believed the audience felt cheated having to
to listen to a recorded show.
CBS was a bit more flexible, allowing for some recorded programs.
Both networks had a rule if a recording it was to be mentioned as such.
Mutual was a loose confederation of stations and how no real network
times, so most of their programming was recorded.
The programs were recorded in either NYC, Chicago or LA (after being
aired live there) and mailed to stations around the country. Once the program was aired in the big cities it was passed along to the smaller markets who
were to destroy the discs once the
NBC/CBS had a show at certain times but Mutual, but no real network,
recorded shows for local stations in their network to play pretty much whenever they wanted, but trying to stick to the same day and hour across the
country.
NBC kept the recording ban till the late '40s/early '50s.
By then tape was available which reproduced sound better, it was easier
to edit programs (than than wax discs) and so forth.
Bing Crosby was a big NBC star and wanted to use tape and left NBC for
the new upstart ABC (formerly the old NBC Blue Network) when the FCC said NBC having Red and Blue was a monopoly.
NBC Red had the big shows, Blue had the lesser ones.
The red and blue originally merely id'ed within the company which phone
line the program was carried on.

Almost all of Jack's radio programs were saved (he started having his show transcribed, at his expense, early in his radio career).
Allen's shows are often hit and miss. Many recordings were made, but many also lost over the years.

Interesting.

Recording programs was expensive.
An engineer did the original recording on one side of a 8" disk, which
was recorded at 33 1/3, 15 minutes were side. So at the 15 minute mark he had to start the second recording and so on.
And the discs were very fragile. Drop or damage one and its over.
And editing was a pain.
You had someone playing a disk and another recording. Shows for the
armed forces during the war were not allowed to play commercials, the war department felt this was an endorsement of whatever product.
The second recording had to be stopped, the ad skipped then the program started again. Once in a while a AFRS disc would include a word or two of
the ad then right back to the program.

I was trying to think who had the cluttered closet, but I want to say it was Fibber McGee.

Yep. The show was noted for that.
And it was only used once or twice a season so it wouldn't get overworked
and wear out its welcome.
The audience didn't see "the closet" until it was time. It was hidden
away. And the sound man had to be very careful everything didn't come
crashing down from the step ladder until its time.
There as all sorts of stuff he pushed onto the stage much to the delight
of those listening.

Then, when he made a comment, it was "Not funny, McGee". <G>

"Tain't funny, McGee" Molly would say.
Jim and Marian Jordan were a small time vaudeville double. A double was
two people (duh) usually husband and wife, whom theatre owners liked since while a double they were paid as a single. Marion sang and Jim told
stories.
They started in radio in the late '20s/early '30s in the Chicago area
with a show called "Smackout", with Fibber as the owner of a small town
general store who was always smack out of whatever a customer wanted.
Johnson and Johnson were looking for a radio show to sell their wax and
the Jordans' became FM&M. They were passing thought Wistful Vista and
brought a raffle ticket for a house and won and settled there. The first shows had just driving around the count
Told you probably more than you cared to know. :)
One time at a meeting I was in this fella asked another a question and
the other fella went on a long involved answer. When he finished the first
guy sighed and said "I'm sorry I asked" and everyone in the room broke up.
Joe
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Joe,

I was watching a comedy clip of a show from around 1960. The owner
of a company was being interviewed and one of the questions was the qualifications one needed to work for them.
He replied "not knowing what the minimal wage law is".
I thought of my company immediately. :)

They should've had a picture of Jack Benny on the wall. <G>

He would occasionally misspeak as himself, but never as Charlie or Mortimer. And Charlie was always quick to point out Bergen's mistake.

No doubt that was intentional.

Fred had a 10 year-old violin player on his semi-variety show and
made a crack that a certain violinist on another show should hang his
head in shame for calling himself a musician.
That started it and the next Sunday Jack replied, then Fred replied
to Jack's response, and the rest is history.

And, of course, the audience ate it up.

All network shows were live, often done twice. First for the east coast and three hours later for the west coast. If a show was from LA
it was often done only once. So Jack's 7 p.m. show was heard live at 4 p.m. when it was 7 in the eastern time zone.

That explains when they said "9pm Eastern and Pacific Time".

Recording programs was expensive.

Sounds like it.

The audience didn't see "the closet" until it was time. It was
hidden away. And the sound man had to be very careful everything
didn't come crashing down from the step ladder until its time.
There as all sorts of stuff he pushed onto the stage much to the delight of those listening.

I think my room is starting to resemble the closet. :P

"Tain't funny, McGee" Molly would say.

That's the one.

Told you probably more than you cared to know. :)

It makes for good trivial pursuit. <G>

One time at a meeting I was in this fella asked another a question
and the other fella went on a long involved answer. When he finished
the first guy sighed and said "I'm sorry I asked" and everyone in the
room broke up.

I've done the same...but one time, when I asked why they call plugs and connections "male and female"...I was so embarrassed afterwards. :P

Daryl


... Bad Day: Your wife says "Good Morning, Bill", and your name is George.
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Daryl wrote --

JM So Jack's 7 p.m. show was heard live at 4 p.m. when it was 7 in the eastern time zone.

That explains when they said "9pm Eastern and Pacific Time".

Partly.
When I lived in Colorado in the mid '60s we were two hours behind
eastern time but our tv shows were set for eastern time. Thus a show that was at
8 in the east we got at 6. So by 9 p.m. prime time was over.
A few shows were tape delayed, such as the Tonight show.
That was 11.30 eastern but delayed till 10.30 Mountain time.
5-6 Local/national news.
6-9 Prime time
9-10 Local shows (game shows, etc that are on 7-8 in the east)
10 p.m. local news
10.30 Late shows, (Tonight, movies, etc)
Morning shows (Today, etc) were on for many hours. In the east from
7-9, then for central time they continued on the air, and while PT they were still 7-9 but it was 10/11 a.m. in the east.
There was one station that carried national news twice with a live feed
from NY/DC first, followed by one for our time. If a mistake happened on
the first show it was not repeated on the second, such as some glitch, announcer coughing, etc. IOW, the news

Told you probably more than you cared to know. :)

It makes for good trivial pursuit. <G>

I was once banned years ago from playing Trivia Pursuit. I kept winning
all the time.

I've done the same...but one time, when I asked why they call plugs and connections "male and female"...I was so embarrassed afterwards. :P

I can see why. :)
Joe
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Joe,

I was once banned years ago from playing Trivia Pursuit. I kept winning all the time.

You and my late wife would've had a battle with that. :)

I've done the same...but one time, when I asked why they call plugs and

conn

ections "male and female"...I was so embarrassed afterwards. :P

I can see why. :)

Speaking of sexual things (calm down, sir <G>), I saw a story on Fox News, where Joan Rivers was guest hosting "The Tonight Show" for Johnny Carson
one night...and one of the guests was Betty White (this was probably 40
years ago now). They were "roasting each other"...and the best part was
when Betty said the following:

"I have no difficulty finding the G-spot...it's a cinch. Whenever a man touches me, I say "Oh, Gee!!".

The audience erupted in raucous laughter. <G>

Daryl

... "Water, taken in moderation, can't hurt anybody." -Mark Twain
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Daryl wrote --

one night...and one of the guests was Betty White (this was probably 40
years ago now). They were "roasting each other"...and the best part was
when Betty said the following:

"I have no difficulty finding the G-spot...it's a cinch. Whenever a man touches me, I say "Oh, Gee!!".

The audience erupted in raucous laughter. <G>

Betty White was hilarious.
She always looked so innocent and naive and would make some remark.
Joe
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