When lying down after a cardiac cath, you can't do that...except
on the bed. :P When I had that done years ago (I may request another
one soon), the nurse asked "Did we spring a leak??". I growled "No,
I just felt like peeing the bed". :P
Fair enough. Like when the doctor assks "How are we feeling today?" I might reply, "Well, can't speak for you, but I feel like crap! Whatcha gonna do to fix that?"
Then, it's "Wake Up!! Time For Your Sleeping Pill!!".
I've reasoned that if they ever ask "Shall We Have Our Enema??", I'm
going to ask "Oh!! I get to give you one, too??!!" <G>.
So, he got the idea to order a thing of apple juice, because as sure
as the world, the nurse would come in, and ask for a urine sample. As
a side note, they do ask about "The Three P's -- Peeing, Pooping, and Procreation".
Anyway, she brought in a specimen cup, and said "I'll step outside to
give some privacy". While her back is turned, he pours the now warm
apple juice into the specimen cup. When she came back, she concerningly
said "Oh!! It's a little dark!!".
That would mean one's urine is concentrated, or they were dehydrated.
If it's "clear as water", you're likely overhydrated, and having to
urinate every 5 minutes (think of being on Lasix or other diuretic).
Anyway, to her complaint about his urine being dark, he grabbed the specimen cup, and said "That's OK!! I'll run it through again!!", and swigged it right down!!
The nurse screamed, and fainted dead away...but, she never bothered
him again. <G>
He said that one day, someone had left a fur coat in the room, and
that when he discovered it, he took the gown off, put on the coat, put
the gown back on, and went back to sleep. He added "When he woke up
before surgery, some darn fool was shaving the coat!!" <BG>.
Another guy was in the hospital for surgery, and was still in there
on his birthday. So, to cheer him up, his friends sent in a female
stripper. She walked into his room, with her fur coat on...and that
was all she had. She took it off, and she...naked as a jaybird...said
"Happy Birthday!! I'm here to give you the Super Sex!!".
He looked at her, thought a minute, and said "I'll have the soup, please!!". <BG>
I've learned to always check the order the doc writes and insist he
add "PRN" to every night time med, especially sleeping pills.
I'd say, simply, "All right; you first, though. . ."
Classic! I heard it as "It looks a bit cloudy" & he says, "No problem, I'll filter it through again," & guzzle guzzle gulp. . .
I can see that happening. . . I've been in those cold wards!
I have a lot of days like this these days. . or I'd eye her up & down
& then ask what kind of soup is it?
It's like the old lady in a home, who got bored, tied a towel around
her neck, like a cape and ran around yelling "Super sex" 9/10 of the
gents on the ward asked for the soup! The 10th was a relative of
Little Johnny & answered reflexively to the only word he heard.
Guess we should leave these for the FUNNY echo, eh? We're in MEMORIES currently.
The strongest thing I have for pain is Ibuprofen (400 or
800 milligrams). I don't have any sleeping pills, per
se.
My favorite was vegetable beef...although I haven't had
soup in a long time. I had stayed away from corn, as it
aggravated my diverticulitis. I did have corn with a
couple of meals in the hospital, and amazingly, it
didn't give my colon fits.
Take stock of what you're eating, and remove the foods that are
known to cause inflammation. The Ibuprofen just masks the
problem until the next time you eat something that may be
triggering the headaches.
Maybe it wasn't real corn. :/
That's like country-western star Bobby Bear (the first country singer,
who would really be a swinger, and streak through the Opryland Park (that was actually a song years ago)) noted when he was to get the physical
before getting inducted into the military. When the doctor said "Take off all your clothes", he replied "You first". <G>
It sounded like Edgar Bergen and his dummy Charlie McCarthy were always
at odds with W.C. Fields...but it was all part of the routine. In one routine, Charlie was just berating Fields, and Edgar admonished him that "Charlie!! Mr. Fields is not a well man". Fields replies "That's right, Edgar. I've been a fragile thing of beauty, ever since I was born". To which, Charlie retorts, "Why, you weren't born!! You were squeezed out
of a bar rag!!". <G>
I tried that with the nurses in the hospital; Also, "I'm sorry, I'm
just not used to be naked in the same room as a woman with her being dressed."
Wasn't Charlie made of wood?
It doesn't bother me. I prefer the female medical staff, though. I have
to call my gastroenterologist back...I had taken a pain pill yesterday afternoon, and it knocked me out, so I missed their call.
When you look at the ventriloquial figures (dummies) nowadays, they can
be made out of many things. And, the dummies don't like to be called "puppets". <G>
I prefer female medical staff, too.
I prefer/accept any who actually look at me when talking to me.
I like the guy who had a snap on set of lips & face mask he'd put on an audience member to mnake him say things to embarrass himself. . . :D
Good sports, mainly. Including one guy who dceclarted in his weird
puppet voice, "I feel like dancing." & the ventriloquist told him to go ahead & askedf the audience to clap to encourage him.
He did some sort of something, involving shuffling his feet to an
unheard rhythm.
So wth are we supposed to call them?!
I prefer female medical staff, too.
And, as long as someone qualified takes care of me, I don't care who
it is, let alone the color of their skin. We pee the same yellow, poop
the same brown, and bleed the same red.
I prefer/accept any who actually look at me when talking to me.
That shows they're interested in your care.
Darci Lynn Farmer (who just turned 16), did a deal at a theater in Oklahoma City, with her "old lady", Edna Doorknocker (there's a name
for you <G>). Edna wanted to sing, and Darci said "Without me, you don't sing"...and Edna replied "Without me, you don't have a college fund!!".
It brought the house down in laughter. Well, Edna started rocking and rolling and dancing, and Darci acted like she was very embarrassed. <G>
So wth are we supposed to call them?!
Ventriloquial figures is the technical term, but it's easier to call
them "dummies". Yet, ventriloquism is not as easy as it looks.
Puppet is ambiguous, but "ventriloquist's dummy" is very clear & on
point.
Most of the more famous/popular ventriloquists seem to speak of them
asd friends or family, but that's as much or more for the show of it,
as how they think of them, I'm sure. . .
George,
Puppet is ambiguous, but "ventriloquist's dummy" is very clear & on point.
When Paul Zerden was on America's Got Talent Champions, Howie Mandel quipped that another of the judges "wants to see your puppet". <G>
Darci Lynn Farmer notes that "each of her characters is a different side of her". Her Mom originally encouraged her to do it, to get over her being shy.
When Paul Zerden was on America's Got Talent Champions, Howie Mandel quipped that another of the judges "wants to see your puppet". <G>
What did Paul say to that?
Darci Lynn Farmer notes that "each of her characters is a different side of her". Her Mom originally encouraged her to do it, to get over her being shy.
& a good job it did, too! Shy is not how I think of Darci, except as it applies to all ventriloquists.
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