Haven't seen you in a while; you busy fighting health & pain issues?

Try looking up "Living Life with Chronic Conditions" to see if there's a workship in your area.

If not, ask your insurer to start one. The program was created at Stanford & jas passed rigorous peer reviews. Graduates need to go to hospital & dfopctor's offices a lot less frequently, & repoprt, a greatly enhanced quyality of life, in spite of chronic conditions (like diabetes, cancer, arthritis, &/or chronic pain)

I'm just finishing a leadership course to lead the program through Zoom.

It's such a good program that our provincial government pays all costs associated with delivering the program to British Columbians, including the manual for each participant, because it saves so much money on healthcare costs.

Once trained & certified, I'll be delivering the course periodically here
from my home (online-only; I'll have to recertify to do in-person classes,
once thgat opens back up)

Look into it; it will save you money & give you back control of your body & health.

Okay, Obfunny content:

Q: What's the medical term for a tandem bicycle?
A: Conjoined Schwinns

After Orville and Wilbur’s first horrific and fatal plane-accident leaving their remains scattered on the tarmac, the chief medical examiner approaching what was left of them simply asked:
“Are you all Wright?!”

So it turns out Dr. Pepper isn't a real medical doctor...
He just has a doctorate in theoretical fizz-ics

Q: What the medical term for owning too many dogs?
A: A roverdose

I got a fake medical ID made to get the COVID vaccine, but I was rejected
It was worth a shot.

Q: What do you call a canine with a medical PhD?
A: A dog'tor

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

Haven't seen you in a while; you busy fighting health & pain issues?

That, and switching FIDONet hubs. My original one was shutting down, due
to a job change. Then, I forgot to change my default AKA, so Internet Rex
got constipated, and I had to give it an enema. :P

Plus, over the weekend, I was back in the hospital with atrial flutter
for the second time in a month...and the heart rate was back up to 155.
The cardiologist has changed my medication again, and put me on a heart
monitor for 2 weeks. If those don't work, then ablation surgery may have
to be considered.

Sunday night into Monday morning, some idiot set off the fire alarm...
not once, but twice. And, one time during the overnight vital signs
check, their blood pressure deal, thermometer, and pulse oximeter, did
not work. Thankfully, I had brought mine along, so they didn't have to
go find another working set.

Then, I nearly lost my head...literally. I had put my walker in the back
of the Uber vehicle, and went to also put my bag of stuff from the hospital
in there...and the door started closing on my head.

Q: What's the medical term for a tandem bicycle?
A: Conjoined Schwinns

I had those growing up...the Sting Ray, and even a 10 speed bike.

After Orville and Wilbur’s first horrific and fatal plane-accident
leaving their remains scattered on the tarmac, the chief medical
examiner approaching what was left of them simply asked:
“Are you all Wright?!”

That was from Wright And Wrong Field.

So it turns out Dr. Pepper isn't a real medical doctor...
He just has a doctorate in theoretical fizz-ics

Some say that's carbonated prune juice. Dr. Pepper was the original,
with offshoots of Mister Pibb, Doctor K (Kroger), etc. Imitation is
the sincerest form of flattery.

Q: What the medical term for owning too many dogs?
A: A roverdose

That's when your practice has gone to the dogs...and it's known as
Sir Bark-A-Lot.

I got a fake medical ID made to get the COVID vaccine, but I was
rejected It was worth a shot.

Seriously, there are folks selling these things for large amounts
of money. I had bought a lanyard and clear case for my card (it was
getting dog-eared in my wallet), but the lanyard broke. Thankfully,
I had an extra one here at the house to use instead.

Q: What do you call a canine with a medical PhD?
A: A dog'tor

When the dachshund that my wife and I had when we got married had
to go to the vet, of course, the vet does the finger up the butt...
and the dog doesn't like it (they know what us males think about it).
My late wife asked the vet "Why must I always get the business end
with the teeth??".

Daryl

... Critical Error: System Halted. Hit any user to continue.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)

That, and switching FIDONet hubs. My original one was shutting down, due to a job change. Then, I forgot to change my default AKA, so Internet Rex got constipated, and I had to give it an enema. :P

I dinnae ken your words there, mate!

Plus, over the weekend, I was back in the hospital with atrial flutter
for the second time in a month...and the heart rate was back up to 155.
The cardiologist has changed my medication again, and put me on a heart monitor for 2 weeks. If those don't work, then ablation surgery may have
to be considered.

Ouch; not good! You're going to let them put a laser into your heart to burn tattoos into your inner heart?!

Sunday night into Monday morning, some idiot set off the fire alarm...
not once, but twice. And, one time during the overnight vital signs
check, their blood pressure deal, thermometer, and pulse oximeter, did
not work. Thankfully, I had brought mine along, so they didn't have to
go find another working set.

They technically ought to be fired for not using a set they know the quality
& provenance for.

Then, I nearly lost my head...literally. I had put my walker in the back of the Uber vehicle, and went to also put my bag of stuff from the

hospital

in there...and the door started closing on my head.

I think your head would've been where it always is, albeit a bit achy from a goose knot atop it!

Q: What's the medical term for a tandem bicycle?
A: Conjoined Schwinns

I had those growing up...the Sting Ray, and even a 10 speed bike.

I had a basic Schwinn one-speed; took me forever to learn to ride it (I was
not a fan of falling, not a collector of road rash, by preference)

Eventually my dad threatened to throw it in the trash if I wasn't riding it
by the time he got back from his 2 days at work. I went from zero to riding no-hands in the early afternoon he was due back (got off work at 3pm & drove
an hour or so home)

After Orville and Wilbur’s first horrific and fatal plane-accident leaving their remains scattered on the tarmac, the chief medical examiner approaching what was left of them simply asked:
“Are you all Wright?!”

That was from Wright And Wrong Field.

They called Air Traffic Control & were told they had winged the wong number (the Chinese had bought out SC's ATC)

Some say that's carbonated prune juice. Dr. Pepper was the original,
with offshoots of Mister Pibb, Doctor K (Kroger), etc. Imitation is
the sincerest form of flattery.

Could be that prunes are the essential flavour base. Most pops werre
invenmted by druggists to help with one condition or other (7-Up was
"Lithiated Soda - good for bipolar, Pepsi(pepsin) for stomach acid issues, Coke(cocaine) for headaches & Lethargy)

Perhaps Dr. Pepper was "just what the doctor ordered" for constipation.

You do know why constipated people are most likely to be apathetic, don't
you?

I got a fake medical ID made to get the COVID vaccine, but I was rejected It was worth a shot.

Seriously, there are folks selling these things for large amounts
of money. I had bought a lanyard and clear case for my card (it was
getting dog-eared in my wallet), but the lanyard broke. Thankfully,
I had an extra one here at the house to use instead.

I thought covid shots were free? Or you mean the proof of vaccination? Ours will be digital, once rolled out in the next week or so (after 13-Sept, no going into stores or grou pevents without one proving you've had at least one shot; as of 26th, need both shots)

When the dachshund that my wife and I had when we got married had
to go to the vet, of course, the vet does the finger up the butt...
and the dog doesn't like it (they know what us males think about it).
My late wife asked the vet "Why must I always get the business end
with the teeth??".

Have you seen that scene in Dr. Folittle, where the little dog(dachsund?) is talking to a young Dr. Dolittle, giving the commemtary on hhis vet visit, including the thermomenter up the butt ("oh no, it's swallowing it. . . it's GONE! GET IT OUT OF ME! GET IT OUT OF ME!")

Where to pick my inspiration? hmmm. . .

Q: What did the laser weapon say to the atom bomb?
A: OK, boomer.

[a little old now]
My New Years resolution for next year will be to finally get that laser eye surgery I’ve always wanted
It’s my 2020 vision

Q: What do laser guns and churches have in common?
A: Pews (think girl gamers)

Superman using his eye lasers for laser eye surgery...
How eye-ronic would that be?

I tried to pick up the navy's new mounted laser turret but it weighed more
than a ton.
I thought a laser would be light.

If you do the calculations to enable a laser to work, are you doing crystal math?

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

That, and switching FIDONet hubs. My original one was shutting down, due to a job change. Then, I forgot to change my default AKA, so Internet Rex got constipated, and I had to give it an enema. :P

I dinnae ken your words there, mate!

It cleared the backlog of a crapload of messages in FIDONet. <G>

Ouch; not good! You're going to let them put a laser into your heart to burn tattoos into your inner heart?!

If that's what it takes to stop this atrial flutter, yes. I'm on a heart monitor until Sept. 15. It looks like I'll have to switch them out and charge the phone and the monitor tomorrow...downtime should be 90 minutes to 3 hours.

While they'd go through both sides of the groin, and least they're not
going to burn something down there. :P I'm already preparing to pee and
poop the bed. :P

They technically ought to be fired for not using a set they know the quality & provenance for.

It may have worked for other patients, but didn't want to work for me. It
was like Groucho Marx as Doctor Quackenbush, taking this guy's pulse...and
he says "Either this man is dead, or my watch is stopped". :P

I think your head would've been where it always is, albeit a bit achy
from a goose knot atop it!

At least it wasn't Cranial Rectal Syndrome...the most common workplace injury. Or Zachary Disease, where their face look Zachary like their butt.

I had a basic Schwinn one-speed; took me forever to learn to ride it (I was not a fan of falling, not a collector of road rash, by preference).

I did it up in a patriotic theme (red, white, and blue) for a "Field Day" event in elementary school 50 years ago. If I remember right, I got awarded
a blue ribbon. :)

Eventually my dad threatened to throw it in the trash if I wasn't
riding it by the time he got back from his 2 days at work. I went from zero to riding no-hands in the early afternoon he was due back (got off work at 3pm & drove an hour or so home)

I used it when I delivered an afternoon newspaper route in south Florida
back in the mid 1970's -- that paper is long gone, and the family moved to Arkansas in 1977.

They called Air Traffic Control & were told they had winged the wong number (the Chinese had bought out SC's ATC)

Or like the meme of this place..."The Wong Foo King Book Store". <G>

Could be that prunes are the essential flavour base. Most pops werre invenmted by druggists to help with one condition or other (7-Up was "Lithiated Soda - good for bipolar, Pepsi(pepsin) for stomach acid issues, Coke(cocaine) for headaches & Lethargy).

This is true.

Perhaps Dr. Pepper was "just what the doctor ordered" for constipation.

So many have diarrhea of the mouth, and constipation of the brain (i.e.
all the government officials) that colonoscopy prep wouldn't help them.

You do know why constipated people are most likely to be apathetic,
don't you?

They're exhaustipated...too tired to give a $***. :P

I thought covid shots were free? Or you mean the proof of vaccination?

I stand corrected...it is the latter. But, one doctor or pharmacist was giving saline or a placebo instead of the correct vaccine.

Ours will be digital, once rolled out in the next week or so (after 13-Sept, no going into stores or grou pevents without one proving
you've had at least one shot; as of 26th, need both shots)

I took a photo of mine, and put it on my cellphone. I also bought a
plastic holder and lanyard from Amazon to have it in (it was getting
dog-eared in the wallet).

Have you seen that scene in Dr. Folittle, where the little
dog(dachsund?) is talking to a young Dr. Dolittle, giving the
commemtary on hhis vet visit, including the thermomenter up the butt
("oh no, it's swallowing it. . . it's GONE! GET IT OUT OF ME! GET IT
OUT OF ME!")

No, never saw that one.

Where to pick my inspiration? hmmm. . .

Q: What did the laser weapon say to the atom bomb?
A: OK, boomer.

Never mind Boomer Sooner (for all the University Of Oklahoma Fans).

[a little old now]
My New Years resolution for next year will be to finally get that laser eye surgery I’ve always wanted
It’s my 2020 vision

If you have hindsight, are you looking at butts, or do your cheeks have eyes?? )I(

Q: What do laser guns and churches have in common?
A: Pews (think girl gamers)

They're buying new air fresheners for the church to get rid of the pews.

A bean supper will be held Friday evening in the Fellowship Hall to
benefit the choir...music will follow.

Superman using his eye lasers for laser eye surgery...
How eye-ronic would that be?

I can see him doing that.

I tried to pick up the navy's new mounted laser turret but it weighed
more than a ton.
I thought a laser would be light.

Do not look into laser with remaining eye.

If you do the calculations to enable a laser to work, are you doing crystal math?

2+2=5 -- for extremely large values of 2.

Daryl

... Is it OK to use AM radio after midday??
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)

George,

That, and switching FIDONet hubs. My original one was shutting down, due to a job change. Then, I forgot to change my default AKA, so

Internet

Rex got constipated, and I had to give it an enema. :P

I dinnae ken your words there, mate!

It cleared the backlog of a crapload of messages in FIDONet. <G>

Okay; wouldn't it pull up old ones again? Or your pointers were remembered between hubs?

Ouch; not good! You're going to let them put a laser into your heart

to

burn tattoos into your inner heart?!

If that's what it takes to stop this atrial flutter, yes. I'm on a heart monitor until Sept. 15. It looks like I'll have to switch them out and charge the phone and the monitor tomorrow...downtime should be 90 minutes

to

3 hours.

Fair enough; you do what's medically indicatem nio matter how it sdounds,
like when the doctor said, to get my kidnmey styone, he'd "go in with a stent to hold space open, them follow up with a camera on a stick, then a tiny
laser on a stick & blast that thing whjile he's looking right at it.

I asked, "Where are you planing to go "in" (thinking of scars in my personal zone); he said "through your urethra"

I said, "I know wgat thart is, Doc, you better be knocking me out first!"

He assured me I'd be under with a General.

Essentially he was going to film a Star Wars sequel in my shmeckle!

Or maybe the movie adaptation of Atari "Asteroids"? *LOL*

Speaking of. . why is it when they're up in the hemisphere they're called asteroids, but when they're in your a*s, they're called hemmorrhoids?

While they'd go through both sides of the groin, and least they're not going to burn something down there. :P I'm already preparing to pee and
poop the bed. :P

They technically ought to be fired for not using a set they know the quality & provenance for.

It may have worked for other patients, but didn't want to work for me.

It

was like Groucho Marx as Doctor Quackenbush, taking this guy's pulse...and he says "Either this man is dead, or my watch is stopped". :P

I think your head would've been where it always is, albeit a bit achy from a goose knot atop it!

At least it wasn't Cranial Rectal Syndrome...the most common workplace injury. Or Zachary Disease, where their face look Zachary like their butt.

I had a basic Schwinn one-speed; took me forever to learn to ride it

(I

was not a fan of falling, not a collector of road rash, by

preference).

I did it up in a patriotic theme (red, white, and blue) for a "Field

Day"

event in elementary school 50 years ago. If I remember right, I got

awarded

a blue ribbon. :)

Eventually my dad threatened to throw it in the trash if I wasn't riding it by the time he got back from his 2 days at work. I went

from

zero to riding no-hands in the early afternoon he was due back (got

off

work at 3pm & drove an hour or so home)

I used it when I delivered an afternoon newspaper route in south Florida back in the mid 1970's -- that paper is long gone, and the family moved to Arkansas in 1977.

They called Air Traffic Control & were told they had winged the wong number (the Chinese had bought out SC's ATC)

Or like the meme of this place..."The Wong Foo King Book Store". <G>

Could be that prunes are the essential flavour base. Most pops werre invenmted by druggists to help with one condition or other (7-Up was "Lithiated Soda - good for bipolar, Pepsi(pepsin) for stomach acid issues, Coke(cocaine) for headaches & Lethargy).

This is true.

Perhaps Dr. Pepper was "just what the doctor ordered" for

constipation.

So many have diarrhea of the mouth, and constipation of the brain (i.e. all the government officials) that colonoscopy prep wouldn't help them.

You do know why constipated people are most likely to be apathetic, don't you?

They're exhaustipated...too tired to give a $***. :P

I thought covid shots were free? Or you mean the proof of

vaccination?

I stand corrected...it is the latter. But, one doctor or pharmacist was giving saline or a placebo instead of the correct vaccine.

Ours will be digital, once rolled out in the next week or so (after 13-Sept, no going into stores or grou pevents without one proving you've had at least one shot; as of 26th, need both shots)

I took a photo of mine, and put it on my cellphone. I also bought a plastic holder and lanyard from Amazon to have it in (it was getting dog-eared in the wallet).

Have you seen that scene in Dr. Folittle, where the little dog(dachsund?) is talking to a young Dr. Dolittle, giving the commemtary on hhis vet visit, including the thermomenter up the butt ("oh no, it's swallowing it. . . it's GONE! GET IT OUT OF ME! GET IT OUT OF ME!")

No, never saw that one.

Where to pick my inspiration? hmmm. . .

Q: What did the laser weapon say to the atom bomb?
A: OK, boomer.

Never mind Boomer Sooner (for all the University Of Oklahoma Fans).

[a little old now]
My New Years resolution for next year will be to finally get that

laser

eye surgery I’ve always wanted
It’s my 2020 vision

If you have hindsight, are you looking at butts, or do your cheeks have eyes?? )I(

Q: What do laser guns and churches have in common?
A: Pews (think girl gamers)

They're buying new air fresheners for the church to get rid of the pews.

A bean supper will be held Friday evening in the Fellowship Hall to benefit the choir...music will follow.

Superman using his eye lasers for laser eye surgery...
How eye-ronic would that be?

I can see him doing that.

I tried to pick up the navy's new mounted laser turret but it weighed more than a ton.
I thought a laser would be light.

Do not look into laser with remaining eye.

If you do the calculations to enable a laser to work, are you doing crystal math?

2+2=5 -- for extremely large values of 2.

Daryl

... Is it OK to use AM radio after midday??
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

Okay; wouldn't it pull up old ones again? Or your pointers were
remembered between hubs?

My guess is that it recalled stuff between hubs. I normally purge data after 180 days.

I asked, "Where are you planing to go "in" (thinking of scars in my personal zone); he said "through your urethra"

I said, "I know what that is, Doc, you better be knocking me out
first!"

Or like the urologist who made a new discovery..."Eurethra!!" :P

He assured me I'd be under with a General.

They better give me anti-nausea medicine first. I've never done well
with anesthesia.

Speaking of. . why is it when they're up in the hemisphere they're
called asteroids, but when they're in your a*s, they're called hemmorrhoids?

Inquiring minds want to know.

Daryl

... Don't raise the bar!! It makes it too hard to get the drinks!!
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)

They better give me anti-nausea medicine first. I've never done well
with anesthesia.

When I go in for kidney stone blasting (with 20,000PSI caused by ultrasonic waves focused directly on the stone) they give me a pre-knockout cocktail of several pills, including Tylenol; one is likely an anti-nauseant, too.

... Don't raise the bar!! It makes it too hard to get the drinks!!

Amen!

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)