Women, in general, like to be wooed, whether they admit it not, and like
to be chased (and not always chaste). A guy is told no means no, and after being told no once to stop, then the woman wonders why they are never asked out again by the guy.
I was that way -- if you're going to say no, then I'm getting dessed right then & there, & I'm out of there!. I'm not here to play those games. I know what I want to plauym, & I thought she was there for the same reason.
Had a buddy met a neighbour of mine NYE, when both were tipsy. They went up to her place to do the deed.
Next day (or 2); I'm in my easy chair, readingm when she visits; she's standing inside the door talkiinmg to him over on the couch (across the small apartment.)
She's being flirty, trying to talk him into going for a walk. He sits up & addresses her veery clearly, "Look. We had our fun -- we're b oth adults who chose some adult fun -- that'sall it was; There was no discussion of further trerlationship type stuff to occur, because I'm not up for that; I just got out of a bad marriage & I'm just relaxing & having fun, so, no, I don't want to go for a walk. No, I don't weant to hold hands. No, I don't want to meet anyone. But of yuo want to, as an adult, repeat our fun, let me know, & I could be takled into it."
She starts to mumble h owe sdjhe'd like it if he. . ."
He interrupts, "You got to speak plainly & dirtecly, without room for confusion. No games."
She then fairly shouts, "I want to get f*cked!"
He says, "Alrighty, then," & puts his shoes on & off they go. . .
A week later, she calls; I answer rthe phone & she makes the statement, among other blsh blah: 'What yourt fiend did to me, that's rape."
I hung the phone up abruptly, no comment, & warned my buddy.
A week l;ater shev sees me outside & starts haranguing me & "all men" & goes on to say I committed a crime, too, by enabling my friend.
I'm done (& tired of being the centre of onlookers' attention) & handed her a quarter & said, "There's the payphone, call the cops. I'll wait here until they aerrivwe & we can talk to them together."
She took the quarter (she-dog!) & went home & that was the end of that game.
I ain't playing.
In my job I run into all sorts and conditions of people (the way they
dress, etc.) and have to see the person inside all that.
Sometimes I'm right, sometimes I'm wrong.
I'll bet you were right more often than not. For practical purposes, you need to be aware of a problem before it happems, eh?
I didn't fault that police chief in Chicago who told his patrol cops to pay special attention to groups of blacks hanging out idly. (the media crucified him, of course!)
His job was to keepthe city safe for all. In his & his preci8nct's experience, their local blacks, in idle grtoups more often than not were the cause of trouble. He didn't say to arrest them all; just to keep an eye on them.
Perfectly reasonable & legal & doesn't contravene the Constitution nor the statutes of those there United States, or for Illinois.
Yes he could've left out tyhe adhjective "black" but thenm each patrolman is going to look at a crowd & try to ascertain on only his own singular experiences, if it warrants his attention. & maybe shy off if they're mainly black, as the cief would've said blacks if he wasn't being so careful not to be seesn as racist, so maybe I(the patrolman) should be likewise.
Then he drives on, only to have violence erruypt from that crowd after he turns a corner.
I lay part of the blame on him & the chief, as well as most on the group of kaka disturbers, of course. & a big chunk on the do gooder bleeding hearts who make these simple jobs difficult & dangerous.
This one fella drove up in a beat up old Chevy Lumnia, rumpled clothes
and so forth. My first thought he wasn't getting on that lot.
I politely asked his name and found out he was the one who gave several million dollars and was the guest of honour.
Well, your job was to checjk ID & direct each accordingly, regardless of gut reaction, eh? Sounds like you did so. If it got crazy & crazy busy, you might have missed him, but most would have a laugh later as you bought him a drink to apologize & explain.
that some women might just change their mind after the seduction has been
agreed to & begun, & have him charged with rape.
That is often common.
Way too common & way too accepted.
We had a girl on campus who claimed this other student had raped her.
A police investigation was done and from the security camera video it
never happened when and where she said it did. Neither person was seen at tha
and other locations.
She eventually confesses she was mad at him about something and so
accused him of rape. If not for a video record his life would have been ruined.
Often his life is ruined just by tyhe accusation, & the exonneration is forgotten/lost.
My best buddy in my old building was accused of rape by the grandmother of a young(~30) woman he had had a bit of "afternoon delight" with (consenting, of course -- he don't play otherwise)
The cops arrested im, of course; charged him; the lawyer I found for him got him released, pending trial, on his own recognizance, only to get home & discpover the landlord had evicted ghim because, as their letter said, "We are not the police or courts, we do not have to folow all the rules for proof. We have to act proactively for the safety of all tenants."
That messed him up badly, leadingh him eventually, into living in the only affordable places in the city -- in the globally infamous downtown eastside of Vancouver, where he was robbed within a week of what to him were treasures (3 giant binders of sports/etc colectible cards) & verbally abused by fellow roomers & the staff of the 'hotel'. . .
Eventually going into a care home & dying in there, unattended by friends or family, as they cut him off from all outside contact.
All because this g irl, as proved in court, had a hisrtory of doing this -- she'd have conenting sex, then ewhjrbn gher grandmother found out & erupted, thegirl would say it was rape.
I get the grandmother's trigger: her lovely young granddaughter(Indian--dots, not feathers) was defiled by a white man, who is unworthy as a mate(pensioner in government housing) & it was better to think she was raped than that her family was delberately defiling herself & the family!
Sick. My friend was a good man & deserved so much better.
Would it have gone better if he wasn't into casual sex with strangers, when opportunity presented? Maybe, but he was an adult & so was she.
The granmdmother tried to say her daughter was 'learning disabled' & my friend said to the cops, directly & honestly, "Yeah, like ME!!" (he had just spent 8 years of his 60s getting his grade 12.)
I purposed from then on to be extremely careful -- only dallying with those I knew well & who openly discussed with friends & family our relationship, so there'd be witnesses (hopefully honest ones, of course)
I'm fortunate in that I can speak well, when the occasion requires it & would explain my side of things in simple truth.
I'm lucky, too, in that the women I know, I know well enough to predict to a certain extent, like my first GF who asked me iner day, randomly, "What are tyou doing next Wednesday" & I replied, "Going to my surprise birthday party that you & your cousin have set up at their place."; she was freaked, as I honestly said nobody had told me.
"Okay, I'll stipulate you're not necessarily a slut, but you are certainly
wearing the uniform of one!" (the audience, men & women alike, roared!)
Also very true.
If ever a woman gets belligerent at me looking at her on-display attributes, I'll calmly rep0ly that what I'm looking at is what my prehidsoric lizard brain has identified as rwquiring further looking, helped by her personal choice to wear clothing/etc. that accentuated such.
I've hasd a woman say, "Well, they weren't put on dispolay for *sneer* YOU!"
I was sad, as I had to explain the difference between private & public to an adult. I had this conversation loud enough for witnesses to hear both sides clearly.
granddaughter. Then added, "Now some hot young mama around 50 might get my
attention" and Chase thought that was hilarious. At his age anyone over 40 wa
OLD.
*LOL* Hoew little some of the younguns know, eh?
Well, old age is some thing we can only hope they get to naturally, & pick up the necessary knowledge & key lessons in time.
Lke the story of the old bull & the young bull on a hill looking dowen into a valley a small hnerd of cows.
The young ghuy is noucimg up & down & treying to impress the senior of his manliness & says "Let's run down this hill & hump one of those cows!"
The old guy says, "No. We'll WALK down there & hump them ALL!"
--- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-5
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757)