In Japan, they have replaced the
impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error
messages with haiku poetry messages. Haiku
poetry has strict construction and
inscrutable rules.

Each poem has only three lines, 17 syllables:
five syllables in the first line, seven in
the second, five in the third.

Haiku are used to communicate timeless
messages, often evoking powerful insight
through extreme brevity - the essence of Zen.

Your file was so big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.

The Web site you seek
Cannot be located, but
Countless more exist.

Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.

Program aborting:
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask far too much.

Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.

Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.

First snow, then silence.
This thousand-dollar screen dies
So beautifully.

With searching comes loss
And the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.

The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao - until
You bring fresh toner.

Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.

A crash reduces
Your expensive computer
To a simple stone.

Three things are certain:
Death, taxes and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.

You step in the stream,
But the water has moved on.
This page is not here.

Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.

Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.

Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.
--- SBBSecho 3.11-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)

All so true;l trust the Japanese, eh?

Is this the same Daruyl Stout who, IOIRC, was sysop of a Florida BBS in Jax?

BTW, you're still getting more snow than I do here in Canada (HI had more
snow than me this winter, too!)

& the customary(at one time) ObJoke, to be on topic:
Another funny list:

Things That Are Difficult to Say When You're Drunk:

Indubitably; Innovative; Preliminary; Proliferation; Cinnamon.

Things That Are VERY Difficult to Say When You're Drunk:

Specificity; Cogito ergo sum; British; Constitution; Passive-aggressive disorder; Loquacious; Transubstantiate.

Things That Are Downright IMPOSSIBLE to Say When You're Drunk:

Thanks, but I don't want to have sex; Nope, no more booze for me; Sorry, but you're not really my type; Good evening, officer, isn't it lovely out
tonight? Oh, I just couldn't-- no one wants to hear me sing!

My DOS/Dialup computer is not hooked up, so I'm going through a local web- accessible BBS. . .

<+]:{)} (Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM)

In Japan, they have replaced the
impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error
messages with haiku poetry messages. Haiku
poetry has strict construction and
inscrutable rules.

Each poem has only three lines, 17 syllables:
five syllables in the first line, seven in
the second, five in the third.

Haiku are used to communicate timeless
messages, often evoking powerful insight
through extreme brevity - the essence of Zen.

Your file was so big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.

The Web site you seek
Cannot be located, but
Countless more exist.

Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.

Program aborting:
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask far too much.

Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.

Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.

First snow, then silence.
This thousand-dollar screen dies
So beautifully.

With searching comes loss
And the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.

The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao - until
You bring fresh toner.

Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.

A crash reduces
Your expensive computer
To a simple stone.

Three things are certain:
Death, taxes and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.

You step in the stream,
But the water has moved on.
This page is not here.

Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.

Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.

Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.
--- SBBSecho 3.11-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)

--- SBBSecho 3.12-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

Is this the same Daruyl Stout who, IOIRC, was sysop of a Florida BBS in Jax?

Nope...I originally am from the Miami, Florida area, but my late father's
job transferred the family to Arkansas in mid-1977, and I've been here since then. I didn't start calling other BBS's until 1985, and didn't start my own until 1990.

BTW, you're still getting more snow than I do here in Canada (HI had
more snow than me this winter, too!)

Much of Arkansas...especially central Arkansas...has been in a snow
drought for awhile (at least 1111 days). However, that may change early
next week. Much colder air is forecast by Saturday, lasting into next
week. However, forecasting winter weather in Arkansas is a nightmare.
You have the Ozarks and Ouachita Mountains in northern and western
Arkansas, respectively...and that can dam up/bottle up the cold air
from getting further into the state. The vertical temperature profile,
from the ground through the midlevels to the clouds, makes all the
difference in the world, as follows.

1) If the temperature is below freezing through the entire vertical column...the precipitation type is snow.

2) If the temperature is below freezing aloft, with a shallow layer of
warm air at the mid-levels, but below freezing toward the ground, the precipitation type is sleet (technically, ice pellets).

3) If the temperature is below freezing aloft, with a deep layer of
warm air at the mid-levels, but below freezing toward the ground, the precipitation type is freezing rain (an ice storm, with widespread
and devasting, long term power outages and icy roads).

4) If the temperature is above freezing through the entire vertial
column...the precipitation type is rain.

And, that's meteorology 101 for today. <G> I'm not a meteorologist,
but I'm an amateur weather enthusiast. I know enough to be dangerous...
and "I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night". <BG>

Things That Are Difficult to Say When You're Drunk:

Indubitably; Innovative; Preliminary; Proliferation; Cinnamon.

Spit it out. :P

Things That Are VERY Difficult to Say When You're Drunk:

Specificity; Cogito ergo sum; British; Constitution; Passive-aggressive disorder; Loquacious; Transubstantiate.

You'll spit your teeth out on these. :P

Things That Are Downright IMPOSSIBLE to Say When You're Drunk:

Thanks, but I don't want to have sex; Nope, no more booze for me;
Sorry, but you're not really my type; Good evening, officer, isn't it lovely out tonight? Oh, I just couldn't-- no one wants to hear me sing!

Honest, Ocifer, I'm serfectly pober...not as think as you drunk I am, not under the alcfluence of incohol...and can straight a walk line. <G>

My DOS/Dialup computer is not hooked up, so I'm going through a local
web- accessible BBS. . .

Whatever works. :)

The charges now for dial-up analog lines (even if it's a "no frills
line" are ridiculous. In many cases, over $75 a month...yet, a MagicJack
VoIP line can be under $50 a year. The phone company can't touch that.

Daryl

... This week was next week last week.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.11-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)

George,

Is this the same Daruyl Stout who, IOIRC, was sysop of a Florida BBS

in

Jax?

Nope...I originally am from the Miami, Florida area, but my late

father's

job transferred the family to Arkansas in mid-1977, and I've been here

since

then. I didn't start calling other BBS's until 1985, and didn't start my

own

until 1990.

You sure seem like the guy, including your love of meteorology (including knowing it has nothing to do with falling space rocks) ;)

I'm pretty sure Thunderbolt BBS (in your orgin line) had a Forida area code when I called it. . .

BTW, you're still getting more snow than I do here in Canada (HI had more snow than me this winter, too!)

Much of Arkansas...especially central Arkansas...has been in a snow drought for awhile (at least 1111 days). However, that may change early
next week. Much colder air is forecast by Saturday, lasting into next
week. However, forecasting winter weather in Arkansas is a nightmare.
You have the Ozarks and Ouachita Mountains in northern and western
Arkansas, respectively...and that can dam up/bottle up the cold air
from getting further into the state. The vertical temperature profile,
from the ground through the midlevels to the clouds, makes all the difference in the world, as follows.

You used to rag me about Canada being so cold, while seeing more snow than I do/did!

I'm kind of pissed off that the creeping Ice Age has killed the grapefruit growing territory of Florida, & I can't get my jug of pure unsweetened white grapefruit juice each week any more. . . :'(

1) If the temperature is below freezing through the entire vertical column...the precipitation type is snow.

I've h eard somethig similar. . . I don't have to have any love for "Sky- Feces" (what I call it), though. . . especially being in a wheelchair. . .

If it snows 2cm, I'm housebound for weeks until it's all gone, because nobody shovels! (Or they shovel an 8" trail down the centre suitable only for a supermodel or chihuahua, walking single file)

2) If the temperature is below freezing aloft, with a shallow layer of
warm air at the mid-levels, but below freezing toward the ground, the precipitation type is sleet (technically, ice pellets).

Not a fan of this weither, because locals can't drive in this, & I got to worry, even on the sidewalk, about getting hit full-on, at speed!

3) If the temperature is below freezing aloft, with a deep layer of
warm air at the mid-levels, but below freezing toward the ground, the precipitation type is freezing rain (an ice storm, with widespread
and devasting, long term power outages and icy roads).

This is the worst, yup. . .

4) If the temperature is above freezing through the entire vertial column...the precipitation type is rain.

Lots of that here on the Wet Coast!

And, that's meteorology 101 for today. <G> I'm not a meteorologist,
but I'm an amateur weather enthusiast. I know enough to be dangerous...
and "I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night". <BG>

*G* Yup, you're the guy I recall. . . from my dialling days. . .you don't remember the guy who called kitty-corner across the continent nearly daily to hang out on your BBS?

Things That Are Difficult to Say When You're Drunk:

Indubitably; Innovative; Preliminary; Proliferation; Cinnamon.

Spit it out. :P

Yeah, that YouTube cinnamon challenge is dangerous!

Things That Are VERY Difficult to Say When You're Drunk:

Specificity; Cogito ergo sum; British; Constitution; Passive-

aggressive

disorder; Loquacious; Transubstantiate.

You'll spit your teeth out on these. :P

Mine are still original & somewhat well-rooted in my mandible.

Things That Are Downright IMPOSSIBLE to Say When You're Drunk:

Thanks, but I don't want to have sex; Nope, no more booze for me; Sorry, but you're not really my type; Good evening, officer, isn't it lovely out tonight? Oh, I just couldn't-- no one wants to hear me

sing!

Honest, Ocifer, I'm serfectly pober...not as think as you drunk I am,

not

under the alcfluence of incohol...and can straight a walk line. <G>

Starkle, starkle, little twink Who the hell you are, I think
I'm not as drunk as some thinkle peep I am
Besides, I've only had tea martoonies
And, anyways, I've got all day sober to Sunday up in
I fool so feelish, I don't know who's me yet
But, the drunker I sit here, the longer I get"


Cop sees a man carryinng a desk, computer, & lamp staggering up the sidewalk,
& asks him wha he thinks he's doing.

"Impersonating an office, sir!"

My DOS/Dialup computer is not hooked up, so I'm going through a local web- accessible BBS. . .

Whatever works. :)

The charges now for dial-up analog lines (even if it's a "no frills
line" are ridiculous. In many cases, over $75 a month...yet, a MagicJack VoIP line can be under $50 a year. The phone company can't touch that.

Daryl

... This week was next week last week.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.11-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.12-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

You sure seem like the guy, including your love of meteorology
(including knowing it has nothing to do with falling space rocks) ;)

I'll have to remember that one. <G>

I'm pretty sure Thunderbolt BBS (in your orgin line) had a Forida area code when I called it. . .

If there was one, it wasn't mine...I didn't even know BBS's existed until
7 years after family got transplanted to Arkansas from Florida.

You used to rag me about Canada being so cold, while seeing more snow
than I do/did!

The whole weather picture is topsy turvy. I was in Miami when it snowed
in 1977, and while it didn't "stick", it was observed. Much of the peninsula (except the extreme south) went below freezing overnight, and much of the state's citrus crop that year was wiped out. It ended up being "Florida
oranges from California".

I'm kind of pissed off that the creeping Ice Age has killed the
grapefruit growing territory of Florida, & I can't get my jug of pure unsweetened white grapefruit juice each week any more. . . :'(

I never cared for grapefruit juice, and the orange juice gives me canker sores in my mouth. I've been wearing dentures for 21 years now.

I've h eard somethig similar. . . I don't have to have any love for
"Sky- Feces" (what I call it), though. . . especially being in a wheelchair. . .

I may eventually end up in one...I've been disabled since 2004, and they
keep finding stuff wrong with me. As for the S.S., think of it as cosmic dandruff. <G>

If it snows 2cm, I'm housebound for weeks until it's all gone, because nobody shovels! (Or they shovel an 8" trail down the centre suitable
only for a supermodel or chihuahua, walking single file)

Or the moment you clear the sidewalk, the snowplow comes by, the dumps
it right back on your sidewalk.

Not a fan of this weither, because locals can't drive in this, & I got
to worry, even on the sidewalk, about getting hit full-on, at speed!

It's so much worse the farther south you get, because this part of the country doesn't see winter storms that often.

This is the worst, yup. . .

When north Arkansas had back to back ice storms in 2000, much of north Arkansas had no power for 2 months.

Lots of that here on the Wet Coast!

And, it's really bad in the fire/burn areas, with all the mudslides.

*G* Yup, you're the guy I recall. . . from my dialling days. . .you
don't remember the guy who called kitty-corner across the continent
nearly daily to hang out on your BBS?

I knew your name sounded familiar.

Yeah, that YouTube cinnamon challenge is dangerous!

I saw a deal on Facebook the other day for cinammon toast cake...
I started drooling. <G> I used to make that years ago, with cinnamon
sugar, butter, and bread...put it in the toaster oven, then graze.

Mine are still original & somewhat well-rooted in my mandible.

I had my 4 wisdom teeth out in 1978, then the rest of the teeth in 2000.
The worst part in both cases wasn't the pain...it was the bleeding.

Starkle, starkle, little twink Who the hell you are, I think
I'm not as drunk as some thinkle peep I am
Besides, I've only had tea martoonies

There you go. When I go to a restaurant, I ask for a pitcher of
sweet tea, because "I'm into heavy drinking". <G> I've found myself
drinking 2 to 3 liters of flavored water in a day...so, I'll give you
3 guesses what that ends up doing overnight, and the first 2 don't
count. <G>

But, the drunker I sit here, the longer I get"

The drunkard's version of Viagra.

Cop sees a man carryinng a desk, computer, & lamp staggering up the sidewalk, & asks him wha he thinks he's doing.

"Impersonating an office, sir!"

Nice pun.

Daryl

... ALGORITHM - Tipper's birth control method.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.11-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)

I'm pretty sure Thunderbolt BBS (in your orgin line) had a Forida

area

code when I called it. . .

If there was one, it wasn't mine...I didn't even know BBS's existed

until

7 years after family got transplanted to Arkansas from Florida.

How many Daryls ran a Thunderbolt BBS & had a love for meteorology, do you figure?

You used to rag me about Canada being so cold, while seeing more snow than I do/did!

The whole weather picture is topsy turvy. I was in Miami when it snowed
in 1977, and while it didn't "stick", it was observed. Much of the

peninsula

(except the extreme south) went below freezing overnight, and much of the state's citrus crop that year was wiped out. It ended up being "Florida oranges from California".

I wasn't paying attent8ion to news in those days, & even less to that from so far away. . .

I think I'm seeing photos of frozen citrus (covered in ice coats & hanging icicles) every 2-3 years now, from Florida. ..

I'm kind of pissed off that the creeping Ice Age has killed the grapefruit growing territory of Florida, & I can't get my jug of pure unsweetened white grapefruit juice each week any more. . . :'(

I never cared for grapefruit juice, and the orange juice gives me canker sores in my mouth. I've been wearing dentures for 21 years now.

Same for me, with orange juice :( But not grapefruit, for some reason. ..

No dentures yet, bnuit my dentist lasdt wewek said that may soon be the
option for me. ..

I've h eard somethig similar. . . I don't have to have any love for "Sky- Feces" (what I call it), though. . . especially being in a wheelchair. . .

I may eventually end up in one...I've been disabled since 2004, and they keep finding stuff wrong with me. As for the S.S., think of it as cosmic dandruff. <G>

Dandruff is too generous an upgrade from what I think of Sky-feces!

If it snows 2cm, I'm housebound for weeks until it's all gone,

because

nobody shovels! (Or they shovel an 8" trail down the centre suitable only for a supermodel or chihuahua, walking single file)

Or the moment you clear the sidewalk, the snowplow comes by, the dumps
it right back on your sidewalk.

Here they dump it onto the curb cuts (every corner has a ramp built in for wheelchairs & others)

Not a fan of this weither, because locals can't drive in this, & I

got

to worry, even on the sidewalk, about getting hit full-on, at speed!

It's so much worse the farther south you get, because this part of the country doesn't see winter storms that often.

Same where I am. 2cm is brutal, normally, bnut the year I movedhere, on Xmas Eve, there was 30 inches overnight! (I was housebound, even though I was to cook a turkey dinner for my old building's seniors & other shutins, & I had
the turkey!)

This is the worst, yup. . .

When north Arkansas had back to back ice storms in 2000, much of north Arkansas had no power for 2 months.

Those are bad anywhere, but worst for those not used to anywinter conditions.

I don't see the problem; if you're driving & conditions are anything other
than ideal, SLOW THE FLEEP DOWN!

Lots of that here on the Wet Coast!

And, it's really bad in the fire/burn areas, with all the mudslides.

It's dumped a lot of water on them?

*G* Yup, you're the guy I recall. . . from my dialling days. . .you don't remember the guy who called kitty-corner across the continent nearly daily to hang out on your BBS?

I knew your name sounded familiar.

So why denying it? ;)

Yeah, that YouTube cinnamon challenge is dangerous!

I saw a deal on Facebook the other day for cinammon toast cake...
I started drooling. <G> I used to make that years ago, with cinnamon
sugar, butter, and bread...put it in the toaster oven, then graze.

Sounds good. I make the occasional batch of cinnamon toast for the kids
(yeah, the "kids" yup)

My fave cake-y bread is one my wifew makes in the breadmaker: African Samosa Bread (contains cooked hamburger & onions, with spices)

Mine are still original & somewhat well-rooted in my mandible.

I had my 4 wisdom teeth out in 1978, then the rest of the teeth in 2000. The worst part in both cases wasn't the pain...it was the bleeding.

I had my wisdoms out in '91 &, yup, I'm a bleeder, too -- gross as anything,
as it keeps gushing coppery mouthfuls

Starkle, starkle, little twink Who the hell you are, I think
I'm not as drunk as some thinkle peep I am
Besides, I've only had tea martoonies

There you go. When I go to a restaurant, I ask for a pitcher of
sweet tea, because "I'm into heavy drinking". <G> I've found myself
drinking 2 to 3 liters of flavored water in a day...so, I'll give you
3 guesses what that ends up doing overnight, and the first 2 don't
count. <G>

I need to drink lots of water daily, as I get 5-30 kidney stones a year even doing so; If I don't, I get even more & bigger ones! (biggest to date is
25mm)

One summer I was passing 10+ pea-sized stones every week!

But, the drunker I sit here, the longer I get"

The drunkard's version of Viagra.

Drunks aren't getting a lot of prospects to use it with. . .

Cop sees a man carryinng a desk, computer, & lamp staggering up the sidewalk, & asks him wha he thinks he's doing.

"Impersonating an office, sir!"

Nice pun.

I love puns! I'm trying to collect & save them all! (& making up new ones
here & there)

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.12-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

How many Daryls ran a Thunderbolt BBS & had a love for meteorology, do
you figure?

Offhand, I don't know. The thing is, I wasn't running a BBS until 1990...
and didn't even know what one was until 1985.

I wasn't paying attent8ion to news in those days, & even less to that
from so far away. . .

The oranges and grapefruits I don't worry about, as I don't eat them.
In winter weather, around here, they run out of bread, milk, beer, and
toilet paper faster than you can get to the store!! I rarely drink milk anymore, never have cared for beer...but if I'm doing lunch meat
sandwiches, I need bread...and of course, everyone needs toilet paper.

However, I've wondered if toilet paper was reading material in the
bathroom. <G>

Here they dump it onto the curb cuts (every corner has a ramp built in
for wheelchairs & others)

Sounds about right.

I don't see the problem; if you're driving & conditions are anything
other than ideal, SLOW THE FLEEP DOWN!

They drive around here like there are no speed limits, no matter what
the weather.

My fave cake-y bread is one my wifew makes in the breadmaker: African Samosa Bread (contains cooked hamburger & onions, with spices)

OK, we need 3 minutes to pause for drooling. <G>

I had my wisdoms out in '91 &, yup, I'm a bleeder, too -- gross as anything, as it keeps gushing coppery mouthfuls

I need to drink lots of water daily, as I get 5-30 kidney stones a year even doing so; If I don't, I get even more & bigger ones! (biggest to
date is 25mm)

A kidney stone is the closest thing a man can get pain wise to childbirth.
I knew a woman who said she'd rather have quintuplets in hard labor, with no epidural, than one kidney stone. That pretty much sums it up.

Another woman said "If us women can pass a kid, you men can pass a stone"... to which I replied "Unlike the female cervix, the male penis can not dialate".

One summer I was passing 10+ pea-sized stones every week!

Ouch!!

I love puns! I'm trying to collect & save them all! (& making up new
ones here & there)

Several years ago in Austin, Texas, around early May, they had "The World Championship Pun Off". I went to a few of them many years ago, and the humor
is drier than the Sahara. <G> But, all the proceeds benefited the O. Henry Museum down there.

Daryl

... W-E-H-T-H-U-R: Worst spell of weather in months!!
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.11-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)

George,

How many Daryls ran a Thunderbolt BBS & had a love for meteorology,

do

you figure?

Offhand, I don't know. The thing is, I wasn't running a BBS until

1990...

and didn't even know what one was until 1985.

This would've been in the early to mid 1990s.

I wasn't paying attent8ion to news in those days, & even less to that from so far away. . .

The oranges and grapefruits I don't worry about, as I don't eat them.
In winter weather, around here, they run out of bread, milk, beer, and toilet paper faster than you can get to the store!! I rarely drink milk anymore, never have cared for beer...but if I'm doing lunch meat
sandwiches, I need bread...and of course, everyone needs toilet paper.

However, I've wondered if toilet paper was reading material in the bathroom. <G>

You're off the beaten path & not close to a city?

Crummy. . .that can get expensive!

Can you order from Amazon & have stuff you need delivered? We do a lot of
that now, using up our various covid relief cheques.

Here they dump it onto the curb cuts (every corner has a ramp built

in

for wheelchairs & others)

Sounds about right.

First time I saw this, I'd come home by bus. Got dropped off across the street, as usual, then wen to wheel across at the corner & nope -- mound of snow ditrectly on the curb cut, so I tried to knock out a path. Luckily a motorist saw me & took pity, using his trunk shovel to clear the way for me.
On the other side, I stayed on the road & wheeled up to the mall driveway.

I don't see the problem; if you're driving & conditions are anything other than ideal, SLOW THE FLEEP DOWN!

They drive around here like there are no speed limits, no matter what
the weather.

Sounds all too familiar. . .

My fave cake-y bread is one my wifew makes in the breadmaker: African Samosa Bread (contains cooked hamburger & onions, with spices)

OK, we need 3 minutes to pause for drooling. <G>

I had my wisdoms out in '91 &, yup, I'm a bleeder, too -- gross as anything, as it keeps gushing coppery mouthfuls

I need to drink lots of water daily, as I get 5-30 kidney stones a

year

even doing so; If I don't, I get even more & bigger ones! (biggest to date is 25mm)

A kidney stone is the closest thing a man can get pain wise to

childbirth.

I knew a woman who said she'd rather have quintuplets in hard labor, with

no

epidural, than one kidney stone. That pretty much sums it up.

I've met these women, too, & all say kidney stones is a worse pain.

My explanation: both involve something larger going through a smaller
passage.

BUT:
in child birth the passage is designed to do this & will dilate some. (the placement of the G-Spot does a lot to help this), & at the end you get a eautiful human baby.

For me, with stones, it's a jagged rock tearing its way through a hair-sized tube with no built-i flexibility. At the end I get a spiky chunk of rock.

I suggest kidney stones could be compared to giving birth to a dead
porcupine, breach.

Ain't nobody got time for t hat! (apparently, I'll make the time! *sigh*

ObFunny:

A guy in an alley tried to sell me his kidney stones.
I said that's a hard pass for me.

It's obviously worse to pass a kidney stone than giving birth to a baby. Because people always say they want another baby but no one's ever said they want another kidney stone. (ok, this one is too true to be properly
considered funny by me & other victims of kidney stones)

Chuck Norris passed 6 kidney stones...
Thanos used them in his Infinity Gauntlet.

Q: What did the kidney stone say to the man?
A: Urine trouble.

Q: What happens when a kidney smokes weed?
A: It gets kidney stoned.

Another woman said "If us women can pass a kid, you men can pass a stone"... to which I replied "Unlike the female cervix, the male penis can not dialate".

One summer I was passing 10+ pea-sized stones every week!

Ouch!!

I love puns! I'm trying to collect & save them all! (& making up new ones here & there)

Several years ago in Austin, Texas, around early May, they had "The

World

Championship Pun Off". I went to a few of them many years ago, and the

humor

is drier than the Sahara. <G> But, all the proceeds benefited the O. Henry Museum down there.

Daryl

... W-E-H-T-H-U-R: Worst spell of weather in months!!
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.11-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.12-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

This would've been in the early to mid 1990s.

Your name sounds very familiar.

You're off the beaten path & not close to a city?

I'm in the southwest part of Little Rock, but it's a few miles to
the stores where I shop.

Can you order from Amazon & have stuff you need delivered? We do a lot
of that now, using up our various covid relief cheques.

Not the way folks steal stuff out of my mailbox and off my front porch.
Plus, I have chiropractic appointments at midday, and ham radio traffic
nets in the evenings. So, I can't wait forever for these jokers to show up.

I can order groceries from Kroger, and have prescriptions delivered from
my pharmacy, but that adds delivery charges to the bill.

I had my wisdoms out in '91 &, yup, I'm a bleeder, too -- gross as anything, as it keeps gushing coppery mouthfuls

The diet of scrambled eggs, mashed potatoes, and ice cream, got old fast.
I can gum stuff now, if needed...but I prefer to graze. <G>

in child birth the passage is designed to do this & will dilate some.
(the placement of the G-Spot does a lot to help this), & at the end you get a eautiful human baby.

And, unlike the female cervix, the male penis and urethra cannot dialate.

For me, with stones, it's a jagged rock tearing its way through a hair-sized tube with no built-i flexibility. At the end I get a spiky chunk of rock.

It looks like a pebble I've seen on the ground.

I suggest kidney stones could be compared to giving birth to a dead porcupine, breach.

Now, that's a royal pain in the posterior and elsewhere!!

ObFunny:

A guy in an alley tried to sell me his kidney stones.
I said that's a hard pass for me.

Sort of like the joke where the coach asked the kid if he could pass
a football. The kid replied "Only if I can swallow it". :P

It's obviously worse to pass a kidney stone than giving birth to a
baby. Because people always say they want another baby but no one's
ever said they want another kidney stone. (ok, this one is too true to
be properly considered funny by me & other victims of kidney stones)

As the tagline notes, "if men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament".

Q: What did the kidney stone say to the man?
A: Urine trouble.

In spades.

Q: What happens when a kidney smokes weed?
A: It gets kidney stoned.

If you have several, you can name them "Sly And The Family Stone".

Daryl

... There can't be a crisis today; my schedule's already full.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.11-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)

George,

This would've been in the early to mid 1990s.

Your name sounds very familiar.

How many international dial-up callers have you HAD?!

If you Google it, you can find some of our old conversations. . .

Can you order from Amazon & have stuff you need delivered? We do a

lot

of that now, using up our various covid relief cheques.

Not the way folks steal stuff out of my mailbox and off my front porch. Plus, I have chiropractic appointments at midday, and ham radio traffic
nets in the evenings. So, I can't wait forever for these jokers to show

up.

We have the same issue -- porch pirates. My wife watches her statuses like a hawk & is ware before delivery t hat it's due & the second they claim
delivery complete, & we grab it off the ramp.

I can order groceries from Kroger, and have prescriptions delivered from my pharmacy, but that adds delivery charges to the bill.

My pharemacy gives delivery no charge, but asks if I could pick up when possible, as he pays the $10 delivery fee himself.

They're nearly next door, so I usually can & do grab it when out for
something else. Groceries are a $4 fee from the delivery provider.

I had my wisdoms out in '91 &, yup, I'm a bleeder, too -- gross as anything, as it keeps gushing coppery mouthfuls

The diet of scrambled eggs, mashed potatoes, and ice cream, got old

fast.

I can gum stuff now, if needed...but I prefer to graze. <G>

As promised by my dentist, my extraction holes have toughened up & I can chew with them just fine.

in child birth the passage is designed to do this & will dilate some. (the placement of the G-Spot does a lot to help this), & at the end

you

get a eautiful human baby.

And, unlike the female cervix, the male penis and urethra cannot

dialate.

I can directly & recently verify.

For me, with stones, it's a jagged rock tearing its way through a hair-sized tube with no built-i flexibility. At the end I get a

spiky

chunk of rock.

It looks like a pebble I've seen on the ground.

More like a rotary saw blade, but smaller, with bigger teeth.

It's obviously worse to pass a kidney stone than giving birth to a baby. Because people always say they want another baby but no one's ever said they want another kidney stone. (ok, this one is too true

to

be properly considered funny by me & other victims of kidney stones)

As the tagline notes, "if men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament".

If men could get pregnant, that means they'd have a womb & they do: womb-men.

Q: What happens when a kidney smokes weed?
A: It gets kidney stoned.

If you have several, you can name them "Sly And The Family Stone".

That's a concert I don't care to experience again! Nothing sly about these little *******s!

I think we've milked renal calculi as far as it'll go, so topic change for
the ObPuns:

When we were leaving the maternity ward the baby pooped himself and the wife said to go in and change him.
So I went inside, put him down, took one of the clean babies, and left.
-=-
Due to the Coronavirus, there is a huge shortage of maternity ward staff.
It’s a midwife crisis.
-=-
Nurses in the maternity ward don’t want babies to be in shock by the temperature change when they’re born.
So they make sure it’s set at womb temperature.
-=-
When an Amazon employee takes maternity leave, are they out for delivery? (double relevance to the post! *LOL*)
-=-
At the maternity hospital, a doctor handed the husband the baby and said "I'm sorry, but your wife didn't make it."
The husband handed the baby back and said "well then, give me the one my wife did make!"

aaaand. . . .FIN.

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.12-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

How many international dial-up callers have you HAD?!

Do you mean from dial-up or telnet?? I've had some from outside
the US, but they've been from Canada or the UK. However, I've got
the Peerblock utility in place to block hacking attempts from
certain areas. I also have a CAPTCHA sequence that changes around
the clock...if folks don't enter the right code (they're told what
to enter), they're stuck there until they disconnect.

We have the same issue -- porch pirates. My wife watches her statuses like a hawk & is ware before delivery t hat it's due & the second they claim delivery complete, & we grab it off the ramp.

That's the only way to do it.

My pharemacy gives delivery no charge, but asks if I could pick up when possible, as he pays the $10 delivery fee himself.

That's awfully nice of them.

They're nearly next door, so I usually can & do grab it when out for something else. Groceries are a $4 fee from the delivery provider.

I was told to order 24 hours before pickup. To give it a break in the
weather (it won't be warm by any means), I'll order stuff Friday, and
have it delivered Saturday afternoon.

It looks like a pebble I've seen on the ground.

More like a rotary saw blade, but smaller, with bigger teeth.

And one heck of a bite!!

As the tagline notes, "if men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament".

If men could get pregnant, that means they'd have a womb & they do: womb-men.

Touche'. <G>

If you have several, you can name them "Sly And The Family Stone".

That's a concert I don't care to experience again! Nothing sly about
these little *******s!

That's for sure.

When we were leaving the maternity ward the baby pooped himself and the wife said to go in and change him.
So I went inside, put him down, took one of the clean babies, and left.

ROFLMBO!! That's good!! That's along the line of the "Baby Changing Table" you see in the bathrooms. I guess that's where you change the baby for something else. <G>

-=-
Due to the Coronavirus, there is a huge shortage of maternity ward
staff. It’s a midwife crisis.

For sure. I saw a news story today that "vaccinations should be available
to much of the population by April. Like the weather forecast, I'll believe
it when I see it.

-=-
Nurses in the maternity ward don’t want babies to be in shock by the temperature change when they’re born.
So they make sure it’s set at womb temperature.

As the late Paul Lynde noted, the only time the unborn baby can see
outside of the womb before birth is during ballet practice. <G>

-=-
When an Amazon employee takes maternity leave, are they out for
delivery? (double relevance to the post! *LOL*)

Never mind Special Delivery.

-=-
At the maternity hospital, a doctor handed the husband the baby and
said "I'm sorry, but your wife didn't make it."
The husband handed the baby back and said "well then, give me the one
my wife did make!"

He's not the brightest light in the socket.

Daryl

... Archaeologist: A person whose career lies in ruins.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.11-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)

George,

How many international dial-up callers have you HAD?!

Do you mean from dial-up or telnet?? I've had some from outside
the US, but they've been from Canada or the UK. However, I've got
the Peerblock utility in place to block hacking attempts from
certain areas. I also have a CAPTCHA sequence that changes around
the clock...if folks don't enter the right code (they're told what
to enter), they're stuck there until they disconnect.

I was dial-up only, not telnet. . .

We have the same issue -- porch pirates. My wife watches her

statuses

like a hawk & is ware before delivery t hat it's due & the second

they

claim delivery complete, & we grab it off the ramp.

That's the only way to do it.

We are in Nextdoor (local chat groups, everywhere) & they often put out
photos of porch pirates.

My pharemacy gives delivery no charge, but asks if I could pick up

when

possible, as he pays the $10 delivery fee himself.

That's awfully nice of them.

Very, well, I'm in my 50ss & have many prescriptions, so I guess he comes out ahead, overall.

They used to give out 7X Airmiles(7 per $20), but a law got made stopping
that. :( (government figured part of the fees they paid were being used to
pay for loyalty perks, I guess)

They're nearly next door, so I usually can & do grab it when out for something else. Groceries are a $4 fee from the delivery provider.

I was told to order 24 hours before pickup. To give it a break in the weather (it won't be warm by any means), I'll order stuff Friday, and
have it delivered Saturday afternoon.

I get mine usually in 2 hourts if I say "right away" but usually schedule it around my wife's schedule(kids,. dog, beetles), so she's not interrupting to bring the groceries in (& put them away)

It looks like a pebble I've seen on the ground.

More like a rotary saw blade, but smaller, with bigger teeth.

And one heck of a bite!!

rrrripppping & tearing its way through soft flesh. . .

When we were leaving the maternity ward the baby pooped himself and

the

wife said to go in and change him.
So I went inside, put him down, took one of the clean babies, and

left.

ROFLMBO!! That's good!! That's along the line of the "Baby Changing

Table"

you see in the bathrooms. I guess that's where you change the baby for something else. <G>

I swa a pic of as grafitti'ed chaging table that had a pentagram in the
centre & "place baby here"; wonder how many babies had to wait until they got home for a change!

For sure. I saw a news story today that "vaccinations should be

available

to much of the population by April. Like the weather forecast, I'll

believe

it when I see it.

Yup. Good way to look at it. Hope for best, expect worst - saves the inevitable disappointment of doing it backwards. . .

As the late Paul Lynde noted, the only time the unborn baby can see outside of the womb before birth is during ballet practice. <G>

& in certain amateur & professional internet videos

At the maternity hospital, a doctor handed the husband the baby and said "I'm sorry, but your wife didn't make it."
The husband handed the baby back and said "well then, give me the one my wife did make!"

He's not the brightest light in the socket.

Fulldeckisms; Today's date for you is 2/12, so here'dsd 212:

And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load."
"Duh!" on parade.
$HOME = /dev/null.
3K RAM free, no EMS.
A .22 caliber intellect in a .357 Magnum world.
A 1.0 in a 4.5 installation.
A 10K brain attached to a 9600 baud mouth.
A 20th century man... The guy has no future.
A 3.5-inch drive, but data on punch cards.
A bad case of colon nose.
A barnacle on the ship of progress.
A black-and-white mind working on a color-coded problem.
A brain like a BB in a boxcar / box of Corn Flakes.
A butter knife in a steak / prime rib world.
A candidate for optorectomy. (Disconnection of optic nerve from rectum, to repair a crappy outlook on life.)
A couple of blocks behind the parade.
A day late and a dollar short.
A deadbolt with a broken cylinder.
A dim bulb in the marquee of life.
A face designed for radio.
A face designed in a wind tunnel.
A few dice short of a full bag / role-player.
A few photons short of a hologram / holodeck.
A flash of light, a cloud of dust, and... What was the question?
A great deal of pride, but very little to be proud of.
A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
A hemorrhoid on the face of the world.
A hop, skip, and jump from success, but to get there he'd have to give up chewing gum.
A kangaroo loose in her top paddock.
A lap behind the field.
A legend in his own mind.
A logically defunct twit.
A looney tune.
A lot of feathers but not much chicken. -- Kim Mitchell
A medical mystery.
A mental midget with the IQ of a fencepost. -- Tom Waits
A mind as empty as the sleeping pill concession at a honeymoon hotel.
A mind like wet tennis shoes... Makes squishy noises when running.
A minefield of information.
A modest little person, with much to be modest about. -- Churchill
A natural talent for finding subliminal messages in ice cubes.
A Neanderthal brain in a Cro-Magnon body.
A notch off the timing mark.
A one-bit brain with a parity error.
A pacifist out of necessity / always loses in a battle of wits.
A PBS mind in an MTV world.
A penalty kick over the bar. (In soccer.)
A peripheral visionary.
A person of rare intelligence... It's rare when he shows any.
A photographic memory, but no film / never developed / the lens cover is
glued on.
A poor excuse for protoplasm.
A prime candidate for natural deselection.
A quart low.
A real rocket scientologist.
A real space cadet.
A return with no gosub.
A room temperature IQ -- centigrade.
A semitone flat on the high notes.
A single-cylinder brain in a V8 world.
A socketless drone in a plug-and-play world.
A square with only three sides.
A standard deviant.
A statue in a world of pigeons.
A T1 line of pure stupid.
A teapot with a cracked lid.
A titanic intellect... In a world full of icebergs.
A vacuum-tube brain in a microchip world.
A VGA card and a Herc monitor.
A victim of retroactive birth control.
A violin minus the bow.
A walking argument for birth control / post-natal abortion.
A waste of skin.
A wind-up clock without a key.
About half smart.
Adult child of alien invaders.
Afraid she'll void her warranty if she thinks too much.
Ain't no psionicist. (role-playing games)
Airhead / bubble-brain.
Aliens zapped him with a stupidity ray -- twice.
Alive today only because it's illegal to kill him.
All belt, no trousers.
All booster, no payload.
All cassette, no tape.
All crown, no filling.
All fetch and no execute.
All foam, no beer.
All foliage, no fruit.
All hammer, no nail.
All hat and no cattle.
All hawk and no spit. -- Molly Ivins talking about Ross Perot
All he remembers about his middle name is the first letter.
All his eggs in the same basket.
All his learning curves look like Mount Everest.
All icing, no cake.
All lace curtains, no knickers.
All lime and salt, no tequila.
All missile, no warhead.
All of his bytes are odd.
All Preparation, no H.
All shot, no powder.
All show, no go.
All signs and no scenery. -- John Taylor
All the lights don't shine in her marquee.
All the notes, none of the music.
All the personality of linoleum flooring / plasticene / putty / caulking / saran wrap / a bowl of oatmeal / a plastic spoon.
All the sex appeal of a wet paper bag.
All thrust/mach, no vector.
All wax and no wick.
Alphabetizes junk mail / T-shirts / canonical lists.
Already visualizing the duct tape over his mouth.
Always in the right place, but at the wrong time.
Always late... Her ancestors arrived on the June Flower.
Always needs to have jokes explained.
Always responds to "Make Money Fast" postings on the Net.
Always sharpening his sleeping skills.
Always speaks her mind, so usually she's speechless.
Amplifier turned all the way up but no one's playing / all I hear is white noise.
An 8080 in a 68000 environment.
An AA battery in a D-cell world.
An alligator. (All mouth, no ears.)
An Apple //e on UUCP.
An early example of the Peter Principle.
An ego like a black hole.
An example of how the dinosaurs survived for millions of years with walnut- sized brains.
An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
An expert on padded cells.
An expert on the historical significance of cottage cheese.
An inch short and a stroke early.
An innundated receptacle of primordial ooze.
An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
An XT clone in a Pentium zone.
Ano-fossal ambiguity. (Can't tell his ass from a hole in the ground.)
Another engineering prototype that should not have been shipped.
Answers the door when the phone rings.
Any connection between his reality and ours is purely coincidental.
Any similarity between him and a human being is purely coincidental.
Any slower and he'd be in reverse. -- Gignac
Any smarter and he'd be retarded.
Argues with herself -- and loses!
As a baby his parents stood him on his soft spot.
As bent as a corkscrew.
As bright as a nightlight / small appliance bulb / tulip bulb.
As dumb as an ox.
As focused as a fart.
As funny as a fire in a children's home.
As handy as a whiskbroom and twice as intelligent. -- Peter DeVries
As happy as if he had brains / was in his right mind.
As happy as the village idiot.
As popular as a French kiss at a family reunion.
As popular as a pork pie at a Jewish wedding / synagogue.
As queer/rare as a nine bob note. (Very English.)
As quick as a corpse.
As sensible as entering an ass-kicking contest with a porcupine.
As sharp as a bag of wet mice. -- Foghorn Leghorn
As sharp as a donut / marble / bowling ball / beachball / pin head / wet
sponge / bowl of Jello / mashed potato sandwich / boiled weiner / pound of
wet leather, and twice as smart.
As smart as a politician/lawyer is honest.
As smart as an automatic email responder script.
As smart as bait.
As smart as Christie Brinkley is ugly.
As strong as an ox and as dumb as two.
As thick as champ. (Irish; champ is mostly mashed spuds and cabbage.)
As thick as two short planks / two half bricks.
As useful as a back pocket in a vest. (Very English, vest = undershirt.)
As useful as a brick lifevest.
As useful as a carpet fitter's ladder.
As useful as a cheese sandwich to a drowning ferret.
As useful as a chocolate teapot / fireguard.
As useful as a condom vending machine in the Vatican. -- Rimmer, Red Dwarf
As useful as a football bat.
As useful as a fur-lined walking stick.
As useful as a glass hammer.
As useful as a hip pocket on a T-shirt.
As useful as a kickstand on a horse.
As useful as a lead parachute.
As useful as a mint-flavored suppository.
As useful as a spit valve on a guitar.
As useful as a top hat with pockets.
As useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle.
As useful as an inflatable cheeseknife.
As useful as bolognese sauce on shoe laces.
As useful as bookends down a well.
As useful as dinosaur repellent.
As useful as green stop lights.
As useful as passing gas in a spacesuit / boiler suit.
As useful as piss on a forest fire.
As useful as reverse gear on a lawn mower.
As useful as tits on a bullfrog / bull / boar-hog / turtle.
As welcome as a priest at a cub scout jamboree.
As welcome as John Ashcroft at a NAMBLA convention.
As welcome as Michael Jordan at a Hair Club for Men convention.
As welcome as Saddam Hussein at a Dick Cheney roast.
As welcome as Sara Brady at an NRA convention.
As worn out as a cucumber in a convent.
At least he has a positive attitude about his destructive habits.
Attic's a little dusty.
Back burners not fully operating.
Backstreet Boy in a Talking Heads world.
Bad spot on the disk.
Baler done run out of twine.
Bandwidth limited.
Barney's his hero.
Bats have flown the belfry, and now he's all alone.
Bats in the belfry.
Batteries not included.
Beamed down and back up one too many times.
Beating his head around the bush.
Been napping in front of the ion shield again.
Been one too many times through the wormhole.
Been playing with his wand too much.
Been playing with the pharmacy section again.
Been short on oxygen one time too many.
Been using her head as a mass driver.

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.12-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

In Japan, they have replaced the
impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error
messages with haiku poetry messages. Haiku
poetry has strict construction and
inscrutable rules.
Each poem has only three lines, 17 syllables:
five syllables in the first line, seven in
the second, five in the third.
Haiku are used to communicate timeless
messages, often evoking powerful insight
through extreme brevity - the essence of Zen.
Your file was so big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.

[...]

Nice collection!

Evokes some not so nice memories of Windoze past & present. . .

Haiku is such a fun little format. . .

I need a tune to sing them to, so I can write some death defing Grammy-winning lyrics! Then I'll need someone who can sing!

I mostly stick with parodies, like this one with hats off & apologies to Earth, Wind, & Fire:

Do you rememnber
The thirty-first day of November
Your sergeant we both did dismember And buried the pieces so deep
and far. . .

More to go; I might just submit it to the Horror Zine once done.

Haiku. . .

I wrote a haiku...
Well, really, more like a pun,
Leaving. A ôbye-kuö

Most Haikus make sense,
This haiku probably won't,
Refrigerator.

Japan's emporer.
Deposed atop mount fuji.
That was a high coup.

When baby delights,
and pitch of voice increases
We call this high coo.

Q: What's a Japanese-American poet's favourite pickuyp line? A: Haiku-ti

--- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-5
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757)

George,

Nice collection!

Evokes some not so nice memories of Windoze past & present. . .

Haiku is such a fun little format. . .

Or, it's a greeting when you meet Koo...Hi, Koo. <G>

I need a tune to sing them to, so I can write some death defying Grammy-winning lyrics! Then I'll need someone who can sing!

This life of wine, women, and song, is getting me down. I guess I'm
going to have to give up singing. <G>

On another note, I'm having major issues with the BBS NOT busying
out the nodes on the doorgames. I've sent a note to digital man (aka
Rob Swindell) to find out what I might be overlooking. If a user is
online, and accesses a door during maintenance, it'll crash the door
and the system. I can't always be up at 12 midnight to "manually down
the nodes" to keep users offline while the doors are updated for the
daily maintenance.

But, if worse comes to worse, I'll just remove all the doors from
the BBS...then I have to wonder is there any point of keeping it
online at all?? I hate to waste the doors I've registered over the
last 32 years...and right now, only you and I seem to be the "active"
users.

While removing the doors would make it easier to move the system
to Windows 11, I use the laptop for ham radio traffic nets, and I
can't afford a new CPU...especially since the State Of Arkansas is
threatening to remove my Low Medicare Funding Beneficiary status.
If I have to pay nearly $200 a month for the Medicare premium, I'm
going to have to sell my car.

Needless to say, I'm not a very happy camper right now.

Daryl

... C:\BELFRY is where I keep my .BAT files. ^^^oo^^^
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)

Haiku is such a fun little format. . .

Or, it's a greeting when you meet Koo...Hi, Koo. <G>

Koo koo ka choo; No... _I_ am the walrus!

This life of wine, women, and song, is getting me down. I guess I'm
going to have to give up singing. <G>

Sounds like you've got your priorities straight, my friend!

On another note, I'm having major issues with the BBS NOT busying
out the nodes on the doorgames. I've sent a note to digital man (aka
Rob Swindell) to find out what I might be overlooking. If a user is
online, and accesses a door during maintenance, it'll crash the door
and the system. I can't always be up at 12 midnight to "manually down
the nodes" to keep users offline while the doors are updated for the
daily maintenance.

Can't you set up the BBS to refuse anyone to be online during maintemnance times? (00h00 for the doors, & 02h00 for Fido?)

But, if worse comes to worse, I'll just remove all the doors from
the BBS...then I have to wonder is there any point of keeping it
online at all?? I hate to waste the doors I've registered over the
last 32 years...and right now, only you and I seem to be the "active"
users.

Hey, we count, too!

Others will come. You have built it. They will come. I'm proof of concept! :D

While removing the doors would make it easier to move the system
to Windows 11, I use the laptop for ham radio traffic nets, and I
can't afford a new CPU...especially since the State Of Arkansas is threatening to remove my Low Medicare Funding Beneficiary status.
If I have to pay nearly $200 a month for the Medicare premium, I'm
going to have to sell my car.
Needless to say, I'm not a very happy camper right now.

Why move to Windows 11, besides the fact Microsoft & the DOD are forcing it onto us ?

I keep as much stuff running to be incompatible with the latest spyware (realtime human logins, when deemed warranted) they attack me with, as I can, & it works well -- I can tell by what crashes & when/why when it's external factorsa triggerinig it. . . I'm on to the bastards! I've told them, & attempted a dialogue, but nope. . . They tried to re-mark my message(a deleted TXT file) to them as unread after they undeleted & read it, then redeleted, but
I anticipated that.

They wereclever, I expected that -- they copied first & opened only their copy, but little do they know, this does still leave markers. . .

I'm not doing anything, I'm no enemy of the state (of any state, well maybe ISI*, but that's out of my range at this time to take on. . .)

Walruses, or walri?

Q: Why did the Walrus bachelor go to the tupperware party? A: He was looking for a tight seal.

You can always trust a walrus to keep your secrets... His lips are sealed.

Q: What is the most popular honeymoon destination for walrus couples? A: Tuskany.

My pet walrus yells at fat animals
He's hippo critical

Q: What's Donald Trump's spirit animal? A: A Wall-rus.

Dad-Joked By A Word Document

So I'm working a summer desk job where one of my duties is to print and cut out stencils to use in labeling materials. I open up the stencils file so I can use an existing document and make sure I get the formatting right.

I was going to pick the first one when one near the bottom stood out. The document was named "Walrus". None of what the business does deals with aquatic life. All the other things are named after what they are, such as "Sheets" "Towels" etc. So, for curiosity's sake, I had to open the document--

And the stencil said "5-Foot Seal". I groaned at my desk.

--- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-5
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757)

George,

Koo koo ka choo; No... _I_ am the walrus!

Better than a duck billed platypus. <G>

This life of wine, women, and song, is getting me down. I guess I'm
going to have to give up singing. <G>

Sounds like you've got your priorities straight, my friend!

Don't sing in the shower, because if you fall, the paramedics will
see you naked. <G>

Can't you set up the BBS to refuse anyone to be online during
maintemnance times? (00h00 for the doors, & 02h00 for Fido?)

I've tried that...the program gives an error, and quits the file.

Hey, we count, too!

Plus, I use the BBS as a diversion from all the stress in my life.

Others will come. You have built it. They will come. I'm proof of concept! :D

I'm not worried about new users...many logon a few times, and quit.
Except for updating the ham radio and weather data on the BBS, I have
not done anything with it for a few days. When your eyes start burning
from fatigue, you've sat at the computer too long...never mind your
butt falling asleep (or if you hear it snoring <G>).

Why move to Windows 11, besides the fact Microsoft & the DOD are
forcing it onto us ?

First, you have that right. Microsoft and so many others refuse to
believe in "if it ain't broke, don't fix it"...never mind what's good
for someone else may not be good for me.

Second, the only reason I upgraded was because of security fixes.
Otherwise, I was happy with XP.

Most folks today have the idea that they have to "keep up with the
Jones's", and always have "the latest and greatest thing".

I keep as much stuff running to be incompatible with the latest spyware
(realtime human logins, when deemed warranted) they attack me with, as
I can, & it works well -- I can tell by what crashes & when/why when
it's external factorsa triggerinig it. . . I'm on to the bastards!
I've told them, & attempted a dialogue, but nope. . . They tried to re-mark my message(a deleted TXT file) to them as unread after they undeleted & read it, then redeleted, but I anticipated that.

I've rarely had a problem with twits, although there was a (now former) Sysop, who would not provide his data. In all the time I've run a BBS,
from starting on a Radio Shack TRS-80 Model 100 laptop, to a DOS then a
Windows system, I've NEVER had a law enforcement subpeona...and I plan to
keep it that way.

They wereclever, I expected that -- they copied first & opened only
their copy, but little do they know, this does still leave markers. . .

At least their IP is shown up at connect, and in the log. However, I have blocked those with a [no name] IP. Before my wife died, even she did NOT
see the confidential user data...that's how strictly I guarded it...and
still do.

I'm not doing anything, I'm no enemy of the state (of any state, well maybe ISIS, but that's out of my range at this time to take on. . .)

Or as the truckers say..."enemy or enema...either way, you're in trouble".

Q: Why did the Walrus bachelor go to the tupperware party? A: He was looking for a tight seal.

Better use them teeth to carve out one. <G>

You can always trust a walrus to keep your secrets... His lips are
sealed.

You don't want to piss off one of them, either.

Q: What is the most popular honeymoon destination for walrus couples?
A: Tuskany.

Bam It! Ram It! Jam It! Cram It! <G>

My pet walrus yells at fat animals
He's hippo critical

Sounds like all the politicians...fat with power, criticizing others, and it's "Rules For Thee, But Not For Me".

Q: What's Donald Trump's spirit animal? A: A Wall-rus.

Notice that they are trying to buy the people with free stuff, so they
can get the votes to stay in power??

And the stencil said "5-Foot Seal". I groaned at my desk.

Just like they do.

Daryl

... Deja Tue: When you have a feeling yesterday was Monday.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)

George,

Koo koo ka choo; No... _I_ am the walrus!

Better than a duck billed platypus. <G>

You sure? Platypi are kiund of cool -- you bug one & they don't "fahht in your general direction" but they can scratch you with their hind leg spur & poison you with the venom in it!

This life of wine, women, and song, is getting me down. I guess I'm
going to have to give up singing. <G>
Sounds like you've got your priorities straight, my friend!

Don't sing in the shower, because if you fall, the paramedics will
see you naked. <G>

As if I care -- they're doing the equal sex thing now & I've seen acouplecurties, who, upon seeing my 300+ lb self, paralyzed, upstairs, call for backup & let the big guys get me downstairs safely (they have achair that they
'walk' down the stairs with me in it then onto the stretcher - I can usually stand enough for that transfer.

Thankfully it's been a while since I've called 911 & needed an ambvulance -- it's a pain in the benchwarmer!

Can't you set up the BBS to refuse anyone to be online during
maintemnance times? (00h00 for the doors, & 02h00 for Fido?)

I've tried that...the program gives an error, and quits the file.

DOS was better, eh?This kind of thing was typically built into the OS.

All the ones I was on had an event at midnight(BBS time) and at 02h00 UTC(regardless of DST)

Hey, we count, too!

Plus, I use the BBS as a diversion from all the stress in my life.

Don't we all? Isn't that part of wjy we got hooked on this activity in the first place?

Others will come. You have built it. They will come. I'm proof of
concept! :D

I'm not worried about new users...many logon a few times, and quit.

Younguns we don't need. . . :P

Why move to Windows 11, besides the fact Microsoft & the DOD are
forcing it onto us ?

First, you have that right. Microsoft and so many others refuse to
believe in "if it ain't broke, don't fix it"...never mind what's good
for someone else may not be good for me.

I figured this out when I realized all my computing needs could fit onto a single floppy disk -- Windows takes up a Gb or jmore now -- if _I'm_ not using those extra Megs, then who IS?? & WTH, mnan, fleep off of MY computer! When you go buy a computer then you can have carte blanche to play on it alone. . .

I paid for mine, in full, so it's mine, free & clear & I prefer if only I use it. . . & maybe authorised persons in person (not virtually, in general)

Second, the only reason I upgraded was because of security fixes.
Otherwise, I was happy with XP.

Same; well, my XP PC died, & the new(free) one had Vista. . . AAUUGGHHH!

Then I got up to 8.1 & was quite content to stay there forever, even if they wwere saying I needed seciurity stuff, so I turned off updatyes u ntil I chose to install them one by one, bnu they forced an update to 10 one night while I was asleep! Then Ui checked my settings -- yup, no updates, & hoped that was the enbd, noope -- a wewek later it's Windows 10b(or some such) & I asgain checked everuwhere, even BIOS, & all was off for updates, then they boosted me to Win11 -- man, they must think I have every secret on my computer or find them in my travels -- I do,. but not via or on my computer!

They must think I'm very stupid.

Oh, sorry, thinking's not in their job description.

Most folks today have the idea that they have to "keep up with the
Jones's", and always have "the latest and greatest thing".

Yh, then we, too,. can join the Jones in bankruptcy. . .

Pass.

I've rarely had a problem with twits, although there was a (now former) Sysop, who would not provide his data. In all the time I've run a BBS,
from starting on a Radio Shack TRS-80 Model 100 laptop, to a DOS then a Windows system, I've NEVER had a law enforcement subpeona...and I plan to keep it that way.

So he was a visitor who didn't complete user reg properly? Couldn't you just refuse him entry until hedoes? Can'tyou do that across the board? ("fulfill these steps, or get no access to speak of"?)

Subpoena against him or from him?

They wereclever, I expected that -- they copied first & opened only
their copy, but little do they know, this does still leave markers. . .

At least their IP is shown up at connect, and in the log. However, I have blocked those with a [no name] IP. Before my wife died, even she did NOT
see the confidential user data...that's how strictly I guarded it...and
still do.

I'm not running a connect-in system -- this is just me on my personal computer, trying to enjoy life. . .

Ay tine I'm responsible for privacy, I, too,. take it fully seriously.

My wife has learned to accept I have limits on what I'll discuss regarding my work.

I'm not doing anything, I'm no enemy of the state (of any state, well
maybe ISIS, but that's out of my range at this time to take on. . .)

Or as the truckers say..."enemy or enema...either way, you're in trouble".

Yup, I wouldn't think it's only truckers who see it that way. . .

Q: What is the most popular honeymoon destination for walrus couples?
A: Tuskany.

Bam It! Ram It! Jam It! Cram It! <G>

The walrus version of Wham Bam, Thank ye, Maam?

My pet walrus yells at fat animals
He's hippo critical

Sounds like all the politicians...fat with power, criticizing others, and it's "Rules For Thee, But Not For Me".

That's the politician, as a species, yup. . .& lawyers are just the larval form for a politician.

Q: what's the difference between a dead skunk on the road & adead politician on the road?
A: Skid marks in front of the skunk

Witnesses heard, for the skunk "rrrrrr, thup-thup, rrrrrr" dofor the pol: "rrrr, thup-thup, screech, rrr, thup-thup, screech, rrr,. thup- thup, rrrr"

Q: What's Donald Trump's spirit animal? A: A Wall-rus.

Notice that they are trying to buy the people with free stuff, so they
can get the votes to stay in power??

Makes no bnevermind to me -- I carefguly note what they do when not election season, & I talk to them regularly,. to keep uyp with their state of mind, attitudes, & priorities.

Come election day, I'm boting based on acual longterm iontel,. not jusdt wehat they p[resent for me to see (I don't even look at that, unless it costs a lot of money, for little gain, then it's negatuive points)

Q: What do you call a native Alaskan eye doctor?? A: An Optical Aleutian

Q: What is the opposite of a croissant? A: A happy uncle.

My wife asked for a divorce today, saying I was too un-American. I saw it coming from a kilometer away.

Q: Why wasnÆt Cardinal Sicola ever elected as pope A: Because they didnÆt want a Pope Sicola

A friend of mine went bald years ago, but still carries around an old comb. He just can't part with it.

Q: What does a presidential candidate who cant get his votes up suffer from? A: Electile dysfunction

--- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-5
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757)

George,

You sure? Platypi are kiund of cool -- you bug one & they don't "fahht
in your general direction" but they can scratch you with their hind
leg spur & poison you with the venom in it!

Didn't know about the poison leg spur.

Thankfully it's been a while since I've called 911 & needed an
ambulance -- it's a pain in the benchwarmer!

There's a new vehicle called the flatulance. It picks you up after you
have been run over by a steamroller. <G>

Same; well, my XP PC died, & the new(free) one had Vista. . .

The Windows Vista7Up Virus renders all legacy programs useless. I saw a tagline the other day that noted "This virus requires Microsoft 3.1 to run".

They must think I'm very stupid.

Or we're dumb enough to keep shelling out big bucks for their stuff.

So he was a visitor who didn't complete user reg properly? Couldn't you just refuse him entry until hedoes? Can'tyou do that across the board? ("fulfill these steps, or get no access to speak of"?)

You'd think a Sysop would know better...this guy must've been paranoid.

Subpoena against him or from him?

Never had a subpeona on the BBS, and it's my goal to not ever get one. I
have had a jury duty summons and a jury trial subpeona, but none were BBS related.

Bam It! Ram It! Jam It! Cram It! <G>

The walrus version of Wham Bam, Thank ye, Maam?

Basically. Or like the horny hare...you was doing that to every female
rabbit he could "Wham, Bam, Thank You, Ma'am!". Well, he was so blinded
by his sex drive, that he saw this rabbit statue, and it became "Wham, Bam!! Ahhh!! Damn!!" <G>

That's the politician, as a species, yup. . .& lawyers are just the
larval form for a politician.

Yep.

Q: what's the difference between a dead skunk on the road & adead politician on the road? A: Skid marks in front of the skunk

Lawyers on a cruise in shark infested waters don't have to worry about
being eaten if they fall overboard. The sharks put them back on board
unharmed, as a professional courtesy.

Q: What do you call a native Alaskan eye doctor?? A: An Optical
Aleutian

Baringly, I can Sea that from the Fair Banks side of the water. <G>

Q: What is the opposite of a croissant? A: A happy uncle.

Your sister had a baby, but we don't know if it's a boy or girl, so
I don't know whether you're an aunt or an uncle.

My wife asked for a divorce today, saying I was too un-American. I saw
it coming from a kilometer away.

We should support the Metric System every inch of the way.

Q: Why wasn't Cardinal Sicola ever elected as pope A: Because they
didn't want a Pope Sicola.

He didn't want a Royal Crown, either (never mind an RC and a moonpie).

A friend of mine went bald years ago, but still carries around an old comb. He just can't part with it.

Sounds like the Burma Shave deal:

Beard on face, bald on top.
Wish I could, rotate the crop.
Burma Shave.

Q: What does a presidential candidate who cant get his votes up suffer from? A: Electile dysfunction

They'll have a hard time explaining that one to voters...unless they're feeling peckerish. :P

Daryl

... A Stud Muffin at 50 -- there's more muffin than stud. -Chondra Pierce
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)

George,

You sure? Platypi are kiund of cool -- you bug one & they don't "fahht
in your general direction" but they can scratch you with their hind
leg spur & poison you with the venom in it!

Didn't know about the poison leg spur.

We amuse AND we educate, all for thew very low price of wahtever we're charging your credit card monthly (you really should regularly scan your hard drive for hidden records of your banking details)

You'll find our fees listed as from "Services Rendered Uninc."

Thankfully it's been a while since I've called 911 & needed an
ambulance -- it's a pain in the benchwarmer!

There's a new vehicle called the flatulance. It picks you up after you
have been run over by a steamroller. <G>

& the wahmbulance that comes when you've been whining (or whinging, but not wining or winning)

*vocalizing* "wah-ahhh wahhh-ah wah-ahhh"

The Windows Vista7Up Virus renders all legacy programs useless. I saw a tagline the other day that noted "This virus requires Microsoft 3.1 to run".

Yup; I used to get my emnail & newsghroups via a DOS-like menu at a freeserve(generic, no TM; **** "TM" when the term existed priorly & is a generic term) & was amnusing to get an email that looked unlike my usal replies/correspondence, look at it & see nothing but code (high ASCII), scroll down until Iu see a recognizable charactyer string (usually the virus de jour); if from a friend's real email, I'll reply, putting random crap into the first couple lines to render the virus non-executable & warn my mate to run a good virus scan after updating virus definitions. . .

Generally got 1-3 a week or more when one virus was particularly rampant on PCs of my generation.

I've only had email hacks, done at the server level, & I've taken care of the fallout on my own PC & for those I correspond with. . .

I update definitions daily (some are that new) & run full heuristics scan daily on all RW drives, too.

non-RW drives ares canned when unknown/new media is inserted. The Cyberpope does NOT spread worms

They must think I'm very stupid.

Or we're dumb enough to keep shelling out big bucks for their stuff.

Who says I do?

Basically. Or like the horny hare...you was doing that to every female
rabbit he could "Wham, Bam, Thank You, Ma'am!". Well, he was so blinded
by his sex drive, that he saw this rabbit statue, and it became "Wham, Bam!! Ahhh!! Damn!!" <G>

A rabbit escaped the testing lab & hopped full speed to freedom -- out towards the green fields distant.

Upon arrival he met a creature who looked like him, but didn't smell like the others in the lab.

"I'm Peter--no jokes, please--I live here; I don't recgnize you; where you from?"

"I'm EXP-1H-547-2021," replied our escapee friend, "I just escaped from that laboratory distant; I want to experienmce life as a normal wild rabbit; will you help me?"

Peter sat up, "You don't say! That name's a nmouthful; I'm just going to call you Expy. Sure, follow me; right now I'm just enjoying the new shoots of dandelions, clover, & grass, hidden amongst these old ones"

They had fun eating for a half hour, then Peter said, "Time to head inside the warrebn, my friend, & do what nature demands."

They go into the warren(network of tunnels the local rabbits call home) & proceed to breed a dozen doe-bunnies each.

After this, the now-tired Espy, begsa off & says he nmust return to the lab.

"Whast the hell, dude?" exclaimed Peter, "I thought you were enjoying the freedom, the foodm, the comradarie, & especially the bunny boinking, why are you going back to the cages?"

"Because I'm dying for a f***ing cigarette!"

Baringly, I can Sea that from the Fair Banks side of the water. <G>

Nice!

Q: How did the newlywed Eskimo girl instruct her new husband? A: in... you et (Inuit)

Your sister had a baby, but we don't know if it's a boy or girl, so
I don't know whether you're an aunt or an uncle.

How can they know, when the baby's not old enoug to talk & TELL them?! /s

My wife asked for a divorce today, saying I was too un-American. I saw
it coming from a kilometer away.

We should support the Metric System every inch of the way.

This is why DC is so scared of Canadians; we speak two languages & we understand metric well enough to use iutr daily! (& most of us can do Imperial, too)

didn't want a Pope Sicola.

He didn't want a Royal Crown, either (never mind an RC and a moonpie).

I like Crown Royal (12year blended rye whiskey), & we had RC Cola in the '70s until Pepsi bought it up here & killed the brand (it was my fave pop by far, as 1 in 5 were winners, but I won more like 2-3 in 6!)

... A Stud Muffin at 50 -- there's more muffin than stud. -Chondra Pierce

At 18, she was pure cheesecake; at 48, she was more like sour cream.

A real man loves her no less at 48. . .

My fave quote from "Married With Children"

Bud(son): Why don't you try dating my teacher? Al Bundy: How old is she?
B: 40.
A: That's ooolldd!
B: But, Dad, YOU are 40!
Al: That's right, son; & there'll be time enough for 40 year old women when I'm 60!

--- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-5
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757)

George,

You'll find our fees listed as from "Services Rendered Uninc."

Every business has that now.

Thankfully it's been a while since I've called 911 & needed an
ambulance -- it's a pain in the benchwarmer!

There's a new vehicle called the flatulance. It picks you up after you
have been run over by a steamroller. <G>

& the wahmbulance that comes when you've been whining (or whinging, but not wining or winning)

Sounds like what the liberals today are.

*vocalizing* "wah-ahhh wahhh-ah wah-ahhh"

Better get that diaper changed <g,d,r>

Yup; I used to get my emnail & newsghroups via a DOS-like menu at a

Tha late Nancy Backus, who lost her battle to stomach cancer last year,
was a prolific user in the FIDONet echoes...but she used a DOS application
for her QWK Mail right up to the very end. I never got to meet her, but the fondest memory I have of her was that when I posted the tagline "I took an
IQ test, and the results were negative"...she replied "That explains a lot <g,d,r>". Later, she said she hoped I wasn't offended by that...and I said
"I actually got a good laugh out of it". She is sorely missed.

Generally got 1-3 a week or more when one virus was particularly
rampant on PCs of my generation.

I don't think I've ever been hit by one...now, I probably just jinxed
myself. :P But, I just updated the latest version of IObit Malware Fighter yesterday...it has an anti-virus, bit defender anti-virus, anti-malware,
and anti-ransomware data engine.

I update definitions daily (some are that new) & run full heuristics
scan daily on all RW drives, too.

My IObit programs (as long as the yearly registration is current) do the updates automatically, and I also have it set for real time protection and scanning. There have been a few false positives, but that has been rare.

Cyberpope does NOT spread worms

Unless they're in your stool. :P

Or we're dumb enough to keep shelling out big bucks for their stuff.

Who says I do?

At least you and I aren't trying to "keep up with the Jones's".

"Because I'm dying for a f***ing cigarette!"

A different kind of "smokin'". <G?

Your sister had a baby, but we don't know if it's a boy or girl, so
I don't know whether you're an aunt or an uncle.

How can they know, when the baby's not old enoug to talk & TELL them?!

It's like the one of the guy who was given a present of this bird who
spoke 10 languages. He told the giver it was delicious...and when the
giver told him that, the guy replied "He didn't say a word about that to
me". <G>

This is why DC is so scared of Canadians; we speak two languages & we understand metric well enough to use iutr daily! (& most of us can do Imperial, too).

And yet, amateur radio and meteorology use metric...in the band names (wavelengths) and temperatures. The HF bands are defined from 10 meters
on down to 160 meters...the VHF bands and 6 meters, 2 meters, and 1.25 meters...and the UHF bands are 70 centimeters on up.

In weather, temperatures are in Celsius, pressures are in millbars or hectopascals, and likely several others that escape me right now.

Or, you could be like the guy who had this on his wall in winter.

0
B.A.
B.S.
J.D.

It was known as three degrees below zero. <G>

I like Crown Royal (12year blended rye whiskey), & we had RC Cola in
the '70s until Pepsi bought it up here & killed the brand (it was my
fave pop by far, as 1 in 5 were winners, but I won more like 2-3 in 6!)

I hardly ever see RC Cola or 7-up anymore.

At 18, she was pure cheesecake; at 48, she was more like sour cream.

A real man loves her no less at 48. . .

They say age shouldn't matter...to me, it does if you're into pedophilia. There are too many perverts and sex offenders nowadays (and one thought
that Sodom and Gomorrah were bad).

My fave quote from "Married With Children"

A friend of mine watched that...I never cared for it.

Daryl

... "I was married by a judge. I should've asked for a jury." -Groucho
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)

*vocalizing* "wah-ahhh wahhh-ah wah-ahhh"

Better get that diaper changed <g,d,r>

My diaper is fine; speak to whomever I was quoting there. . . rtgw big NeoLiberal(likely, or some such) crybaby; I'm not "Conservative" (or "Republican"); I'm just grounded in reality(a reality that includes God & the moral laws He has given us)

[viruses]

I don't think I've ever been hit by one...now, I probably just jinxed
myself. :P But, I just updated the latest version of IObit Malware Fighter yesterday...it has an anti-virus, bit defender anti-virus, anti-malware,
and anti-ransomware data engine.

Hopefully it's up to the task of the self-jinx you just called in on yourself!

I update definitions daily (some are that new) & run full heuristics
scan daily on all RW drives, too.

My IObit programs (as long as the yearly registration is current) do the updates automatically, and I also have it set for real time protection and scanning. There have been a few false positives, but that has been rare.

Ditto with anything I'm using -- if it won't update automatically, every night at 01h30, I don't need it.

Cyberpope does NOT spread worms

Unless they're in your stool. :P

Even so, I wouldn't spread them -- the butterknife stays in the silverware drawer, & stool goes for a forced swim. . .

Or we're dumb enough to keep shelling out big bucks for their stuff.
Who says I do?

At least you and I aren't trying to "keep up with the Jones's".

Why would I? I don't work for them!

This is why DC is so scared of Canadians; we speak two languages & we
understand metric well enough to use iutr daily! (& most of us can do
Imperial, too).

And yet, amateur radio and meteorology use metric...in the band names (wavelengths) and temperatures. The HF bands are defined from 10 meters
on down to 160 meters...the VHF bands and 6 meters, 2 meters, and 1.25 meters...and the UHF bands are 70 centimeters on up.
In weather, temperatures are in Celsius, pressures are in millbars or hectopascals, and likely several others that escape me right now.
Or, you could be like the guy who had this on his wall in winter.

Yup, but the laws of stadards & measures are Imperial based (MPH, gallons, etc; milk in pints & quarts; cream in cups(or half-pints?) or pints. . .

In weather, your rain is reported in inches (kind of a big unit when often you're measuring 0.01/inch, which doesn't translate well to 1/16s. . .

I hardly ever see RC Cola or 7-up anymore.

Odd, as it's the South that made RC so big. . .

& do you see Sprite, or you're too close to Atlanta to see anything but Coke?

At 18, she was pure cheesecake; at 48, she was more like sour cream.
A real man loves her no less at 48. . .

They say age shouldn't matter...to me, it does if you're into pedophilia.

I say, within the interactions of consenting adults, age doesn't matter.

There are too many perverts and sex offenders nowadays (and one thought
that Sodom and Gomorrah were bad).

It was & so is our generation. It'd be simpler if people could wait until marriage, as you have to be an adult to get married.

My adult step-daughter wanmts her mom & me to evaluate any future wooers, because she knows we've lived a long time(longer than her) & know the red flags that she has no clue about. . . (or might not see if she's "blinded by love"-- she's beyond the age of being hormonally messed up by recent puberty)

My fave quote from "Married With Children"

A friend of mine watched that...I never cared for it.

Like the farmer said, after drinking directly from the goat's teat, "It's all a matter of personal taste."

--- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-5
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757)

George,

My diaper is fine; speak to whomever I was quoting there. . . rtgw big NeoLiberal(likely, or some such) crybaby; I'm not "Conservative" (or "Republican"); I'm just grounded in reality(a reality that includes God
& the moral laws He has given us)

Too bad a certain political party voted Him out of their platform. As
for the diaper...it "DEPENDS". <G>

Hopefully it's up to the task of the self-jinx you just called in on yourself!

It's like "The Sysop's Curse". When the Sysop goes off on vacation,
their BBS develops "separation anxiety", and crashes 5 minutes after
the Sysop has left the premises.

Ditto with anything I'm using -- if it won't update automatically,
every night at 01h30, I don't need it.

I figured out the nightly maintenance glitch, so I was able to put
several doors back online that were removed just days earlier. I also
have added several IGMs to the local LORD II game, and sent you several messages in there. It was DIFFICULT to get that Armor and Weapon of KCD
from Springfang's Lair.

Even so, I wouldn't spread them -- the butterknife stays in the
silverware drawer, & stool goes for a forced swim. . .

I had to order some "toilet hats" to collect a stool sample to
be sent off...but the Post Office lost the thing...or they threw
it out.

Why would I? I don't work for them!

Just like the stores wanting us to use the self checkout lanes.
It'd be my luck, that I have 1 carton of a dozen eggs, but I'm
not allowed to go through express checkout, as I have more than
10 items. <G>

Yup, but the laws of stadards & measures are Imperial based (MPH,
gallons, etc; milk in pints & quarts; cream in cups(or half-pints?) or pints. . .

And, we like our Imperial measurements. My late Mom had said when she
was in high school in the 40's, they were saying "the metric system
will be here before we know it". Yeah...we know how THAT turned out.
That's like saying "we should support the metric system every inch of
the way". <G>

In weather, your rain is reported in inches (kind of a big unit when
often you're measuring 0.01/inch, which doesn't translate well to
1/16s. . .

And, your plastic raingage can be different than an automated one,
or like the one used by the National Weather Service, or at airports.

Odd, as it's the South that made RC so big. . .

There was a song years ago called "Junk Food Junkie". During the
day, the guy was Mr. Natural...health food all the way. But, after
dark he broke out "a bag of Fritos corn chips, Doctor Pepper, and
an old moon pie". Then he sat back "in glorious expectation of a
genuine junk food high".

& do you see Sprite, or you're too close to Atlanta to see anything but Coke?

Is Ocracoke Island where you can get Coca-Cola with your okra?? <G>

It was & so is our generation. It'd be simpler if people could wait
until marriage, as you have to be an adult to get married.

It's true that "true love waits".

My adult step-daughter wanmts her mom & me to evaluate any future
wooers, because she knows we've lived a long time(longer than her) &
know the red flags that she has no clue about. . . (or might not see if she's "blinded by love"-- she's beyond the age of being hormonally
messed up by recent puberty).

I filled out an "application to date my daughter", and gave it to my
in-laws before I married their daughter. <G>

Like the farmer said, after drinking directly from the goat's teat,
"It's all a matter of personal taste."

Just nipple that one in the bud. <G>

Did you ever get your QWK Mail working?? If so, I can send you a
bunch of punny taglines...although they may be in the QWK Mail Files
area on the BBS already.

Daryl

... I've used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)