Hello Bj”rn,
Ward is a Barbarian, he use butter instead of Italian Extra Virgin Olive
Oil, you can figure out his taste about cars. :P :P :P
In my previous comment I mentioned a few of my uses of this wonderful product that nature has given us.
Thanks to Casanova, who taught us how to use it.
I deliberately left out the most important use of mine.
Jesus' first miracle was turning water into wine. He did it
because his mother asked him to. If you read the gospel account,
you'll know what really happened, and why.
Jesus' friends had crashed a wedding reception, and drank all
the wine in storage. Jesus' mother was desperate, and asked him
to do something, as his friends were passed out drunk with no wine
left in the caskets.
At first, he refused, saying it was not yet his time. Now, in
order to understand this, realize that Jewish men do not start
growing a beard until they get married. And Jesus was still a
very happy single guy, with no beard at all.
However, his mother insisted. And continued to insist. Until
finally Jesus gave up and told her he would take care of it.
Rather than waking up his friends, as he knew what they would do,
Jesus instructed one of workers at the reception to fill up one
of the caskets with water. Then, he waved his magic hands and
turned the water into erotic oil.
The bride and groom then entered the room, and were totally
amazed. Dipping his finger into the casket, the groom instantly
knew he and his bride were going to have loads of fun after the
party.
There is some question as to whether Jesus was a he or a she.
In my opinion, Jesus was a true hermaphodite, as the gospel
accounts clearly show his lover Judas Iscariot kissing him on
the lips in an olive garden.
Why else would Roman soldiers need a guy to point out Jesus,
unless Jesus was a woman? All the married guys had beards, but
no women. Therefore, it stands to reason ...
And here I suggest that all the prudish US readers skip to the next message,
because this is about sex, something that you obviously does not want to read or hear about -- unless it involves a lot of violence.
Vikings. The race that conquered the world. Violent? With horns
on helmets, you betcha!
My wife and I first came in contact with the use of EVOO in our bedroom some
30 years ago. After that first encounter, she always kept a small bottle of
EVOO handy in our bedroom.
Olive oil has been used for thousands of years, especially noted
by Italians, Greeks, and Mediterranean peoples. There are other
natural personal lubricants, but olive oil is the nectar of the
gods (in a manner of speaking).
Many seriously erotic encounters later I still remember every one of them. I
remember the massage I gave her with the EVOO, I remember the poignant taste of her salty sweat in combination with the fantastic olive oil. All over her body.
It's even better when you spice it up. Black pepper, geranium,
ylang ylang ...
And I still miss her like hell, more than three years after her untimely demise... :(
I was at a casino the other day, and overheard an elderly lady
who was playing the slots "I hope there are slot machines in heaven."
Mormons hold the view that there is sex in heaven, with those
they were with on this planet. Now, I do not know how different
Mormon heaven is from other heavens. Nor do I care to find out.
Point is, once an individual has completed his/her task on this
plane of existence, then that individual moves on to his/her next
plane of existence, whatever that may be.
Are there slot machines in heaven?
Is there sex in heaven?
Longing for something that once existed is looking backward.
It is a hope imagined, but nothing real.
And yet, we must imagine for anything to be real.
If you really want to give your loved one the erotic experience of his or her life, I suggest that you take a small bottle of Extra Virgin Olive Oil (it surely doesn't have to be Italian) into your bedroom and surprise her.
Adding black pepper gives it a warming sensation.
Adding peppermint gives it a cooling sensation.
Adding cinnamon oil gives it a very warm sensation.
Really fun combos to experiment with. Not limited
to those mentioned. Best in small doses before going
whole hog.
Oil-based personal lubricants (such as olive oil) won't work
with condoms. Or anything else made of latex. Better to ask
David D. for some sheep.
Rapeseed oil a definite no-no.
Remember, you have been warned.
Olive oil + coconut oil + (essential oils of choice) = workable combo
--Lee
--
Stop Workin', Start Jerkin'
--- MesNews/1.08.05.00-gb
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